David Hasselhoff

Nostalgia Not Enough to Save ‘Baywatch’ From Drowning

HollywoodChicago.com Oscarman rating: 1.5/5.0
Rating: 1.5/5.0

CHICAGO – Going to the beach is simultaneously an exciting and disgusting experience. Swimming in the cool water that thousands have gone inside in the past, with more than a few leaving bodily fluid deposits, is the perfect way to describe “Baywatch”. No amount of beefy biceps or shirt-busting breasts could have given “Baywatch” the buoyancy needed to keep from sinking, let alone stay afloat.

Numbingly Stupid ‘Piranha 3DD’ is BaDD

HollywoodChicago.com Oscarman rating: 0.5/5.0
Rating: 0.5/5.0

CHICAGO – “Piranha 3D” was a flawed film to be certain but it looks like a horror/comedy masterpiece compared to the dull mess that is the virtually straight-to-DVD follow-up, “Piranha 3DD,” opening on a whopping 75 screens today and also available On Demand.

‘Hop’ is a Limp Skip, Jump For Russell Brand

HollywoodChicago.com Oscarman rating: 2.5/5.0
Rating: 2.5/5.0

CHICAGO – A definitive cinematic exploration of the Easter Bunny story is precisely what the world is missing. Right? Anyway, the folks behind “Hop,” featuring the voice of Russell Brand as the rascally rabbit, has produced this heretofore missing piece of the film canon.

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