Blu-Ray Review: Snowbound Thriller ‘Whiteout’ Stinks Like a Dead Tauntaun

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CHICAGO – Thrillers set in a frigid landscape are nothing new. Just look at “The Thing,” or “The Shining,” or heck, even “The Empire Strikes Back.” Like outer space, a frozen wasteland is an efficiently isolated location where there’s little hope of escape from whatever malevolent forces lurk there. In the case of “Whiteout,” the malevolent forces are the filmmakers and the helpless victims are us.

This thoroughly disposable picture, directed by the consistently disappointing Dominic Sena (“Kalifornia,” “Swordfish”), deservedly ended up on a lot of year-end lists ranking the worst films of 2009. The laughable script, credited to no less than four writers, is based on a graphic novel that, on the basis of the film, must’ve consisted largely of blank pages. Most of the key scenes take place in a fierce blizzard where the action is maddeningly obscured by digital snowflakes, making viewers unsure of who is doing what to who. Of course, the bigger question is, who cares?

Blu-Ray Rating: 1.0/5.0

Kate Beckinsale stars in the colorless role of Carrie Stetko, the lone U.S. marshall assigned to Antarctica, where she investigates a mysterious homicide. She only has a few days to track down the killer before the continent is thrust into six months of wintry darkness. Carrie is also one of the few women stationed at a U.S. scientific research facility populated by men who enjoy partying, flirting and running around naked in subzero temperatures. There are times when it seems like everyone in Carrie’s life could potentially be a killer, and the film is loaded with an overabundance of red herrings. Is the killer: a.) the U.N. operative (played dreadfully by Gabriel Macht) who just happens to show up near every freshly dead body, and has a voice with all the nuance of a robocall?, b.) a sexist streaker (Alex O’Loughlin)?, c.) the kindly doctor (Tom Skerritt) whose every syllable drips with insincerity?, or d.) Sarah Palin on a rogue bicontinental hunting trip?

Kate Beckinsale’s career gets snowbound in Dominic Sena’s Whiteout.
Photo credit: Warner Home Video

The biggest casualty of this mess is Beckinsale, who had recently delivered the best work of her career in David Gordon Green’s “Snow Angels” and Rod Lurie’s “Nothing But the Truth.” There’s really nothing wrong with her performance here. It’s just another case of a gifted actress stuck in a project where the writing and directing seem determined to conceal her talent, just like Sandra Bullock in “All About Steve” (both films require their leading lady to fall down a hole, which is an apt metaphor for the actresses’ career move). When Sena gets to his crucial sequences of Carrie being chased through gale-force winds and nonstop snow, “Whiteout” truly becomes a washout. What should’ve been a nail-biting climax melding the atmosphere of “McCabe & Mrs. Miller” with the suspense of “Wait Until Dark,” ends up merely looking like a lot of white fuzz. There’s just nothing to see here…literally.

Whiteout was released on Blu-Ray and DVD on January 19th, 2010. Photo credit: Warner Home Video

“Whiteout” is presented in 1080p High Definition (with a 2.35:1 aspect ratio), accompanied by English, French and Spanish audio tracks, and comes with a digital copy of the film. The special features are all brief and don’t do the film any favors, apart from making viewers feel sympathy for the cast and crew, who froze their butts off only to make asses of themselves.

A 12-minute behind-the-scenes featurette includes startling insights along the lines of, “it was really cold” and “the snow was vast, white and endless.” Though the film was largely shot in Manitoba, Canada (with exteriors that roughly resembled Antarctica), the filmmakers still felt compelled to utilize green screen effects that occasionally made the backdrops look as phony as those in “Mamma Mia!” Another 12-minute featurette follows the source material’s ill-fated journey to the big screen, featuring interviews with graphic novel writer Greg Rucka and artist Steve Lieber. Their work, seen here in glimpses, looks far more striking than anything envisioned by the filmmakers. There’s also a whopping four minutes of deleted scenes, including a moment where Beckinsale finds a scientist attempting to grow weed at the research facility. These guys aren’t just sexist, they’re college frat boys!

By MATT FAGERHOLM Staff Writer HollywoodChicago.com matt@hollywoodchicago.com