Zack Snyder Turns ‘Watchmen’ Into Loud, Disjointed, Brutal Mess

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Average: 2 (1 vote) Oscarman rating: 2.0/5.0
Rating: 2.0/5.0

CHICAGO – For years, fans of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s masterful and influential “Watchmen” have been waiting for a filmmaker willing to faithfully and slavishly adapt their favorite graphic novel. Well, we got what we wanted in Zack Snyder’s frame-copying vision of this legendary book, but as someone once said - You should be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.

Snyder’s take on “Watchmen” is like a karaoke singer who hits most of the notes but doesn’t understand the lyrics to the song. The filmmaker has recreated a majority of the panels from his source material, but he’s compiled them in such a way that makes for a brutal, disjointed, misguided experience.

StarRead Brian Tallerico’s full review of “Watchmen” in our reviews section.

There are enough good ideas in the original that people unfamiliar with it and still refusing to read it may have something to talk about after seeing “Watchmen” but those elements that work are in spite of the people who made this film, not because of them. Except for a few strong performances (balanced out by a few awful ones) and the strength of the ideas at the core of “Watchmen,” the film is a complete disaster, one of the biggest disappointments of the last several years.

The opening credits to “Watchmen” arguably make up the most effective sequence in the film. Set to “The Times They Are A-Changin’,” Snyder introduces us to his alternate universe, one in which masked crusaders have come and gone and Richard Nixon is still President in 1985. The world is on the edge of nuclear armageddon as the U.S. and U.S.S.R. have their nuclear weapons pointed at each other, held back from launching them by the existence of a God-like figure named Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup).

StarContinuing reading for Brian Tallerico’s full “Watchmen” review.

‘Watchmen’ stars Malin Akerman, Carla Gugino, Billy Crudup, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Matthew Goode, and Patrick Wilson. ‘Watchmen,’ which was written by David Hayter & Alex Tse and directed by Zack Snyder, opens on March 6th, 2009. It is rated R.

CPatrick Wilson as Nite Owl II, Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre II and Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach.
Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl II, Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre II and Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach.
Photo credit: Warner Bros. Pictures

I Hate Jackass Critics's picture

Watchmen is awesome

Your review is garbage.

I read the novel, and loved it. I watched the movie, and loved it. They filmed the unfilmable movie and it turned out as well as one could expect.

Sure, some of the actors had subpar performances, but I’m pretty sure no one on Earth was expecting a Best Movie of the Year nominee from a comic book movie.

Get your head out of your ass, and review the movie for what it is: a popcorn comic book movie. Jackass.

Anonymous's picture

To "Hate Jackass Critics"

Wow. Get a life, asshole.

Anonymous's picture

this movie was retarded.

this movie was retarded. boring, long, the only cool characters were “Dr. manhattan and Rosach. the rest sucked.

Anonymous's picture

Don't forget the Comedian

That was a brilliant portrayal.

Sitty's picture

What a poor and awkwardly

What a poor and awkwardly worded review.
Movie was great.

Anonymous's picture

I know the movie sucks and I havent even seen it

You can just tell this is another “Hi, Im a crappy movie director, please overlook that with ADD level special effects while stuffing your fat face with $15 a bucket popcorn.” In Star Wars there is so much allegory, inuendo, references to religion, you could talk about it for hours. With all the ADD level special effects, Im sure the one thing we dont see is naked females cracks. Hollywood hasnt figured out that in a dystopian world people get naked and have sex constantly, its human nature.

Anonymous's picture

“I havent even seen it”

I havent even seen it” really are the key words above…

Anonymous's picture

Funny thing, there are a

Funny thing, there are a couple sex scenes, there’s a bit of female nudity and probably too much full frontal male nudity. you might actually like this flick.

Ralph Satanclaw's picture

reply to I know the movie sucks and I havent even seen it

So tell me, whats it like being a douche? is it the vinegar that makes you so sour or the lacking of salt to prevent you from being spread amoungst the land of potato chips

Anonymous's picture

Go see it, and then discuss.

Go see it, and then discuss. What a waste of a post. Your like that Catholic League douchebag Bill Donahue releasing statements and flaming shit he never even saw.

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