Blu-ray Review: ‘Clue: The Movie’ Wastes Game Cast with Fatally Unfunny Script

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CHICAGO – Sometimes it’s difficult to determine why a film retains its cult status over the years. Jonathan Lynn’s adaptation of the Parker Brothers board game may be fondly remembered as a cult favorite simply because its source material was so unusual (at least back in 1985). Yet unlike “Battleship,” the game of “Clue” has a built-in plot and colorful ensemble that could easily inspire an entertaining script.

Alas, “Clue: The Movie” fails to provide a worthy showcase for its spectacularly overqualified actors, who are mainly required to stand around while Tim Curry (as cunning butler Wadsworth) gabs and gabs like Albert Finney in “Murder on the Orient Express.” Curry is such an exuberant performer that he nearly saves the picture, but the tedious gobs of exposition in Lynn’s uninspired script eventually do him in. There are few things less funny than a silly gag that is over-explained to death.

Blu-ray Rating: 2.0/5.0

The action commences on a typically dark and stormy night as a group of eccentric characters turn up at a mansion for a mysterious dinner party. Through a series of sly double takes, it appears that a few of the alleged strangers may have been previously acquainted. Dotty old Mrs. Peacock (Eileen Brennan) awkwardly attempts to break the ice, while gloomy Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn), clumsy Mr. Green (Michael McKean), perverted Professor Plum (Christopher Lloyd), dim-witted Colonel Mustard (Martin Mull) and salacious Miss Scarlet (Lesley Ann Warren) look on in bewilderment. Wadsworth reveals to the partygoers that they have all been victims of blackmail at the hands of Mr. Body (played by the wonderfully named Lee Ving of the punk band Fear). It’s not long before Mr. Body becomes a dead body, thus begging the question, “Whodunit?” Was it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library? Or Professor Plum in the study with the rope? It’s unfortunate that Lynn’s script is more concerned with answering these questions than it is in exploring any shred of comic potential. Like a really bad Mel Brooks comedy, “Clue” simply retells a familiar story while replacing substance with vulgar silliness. It’s little wonder why this picture is so popular among 11-year-olds, since that’s the age group most prone to embracing broad pratfalls. My junior high class quoted “Clue” nearly as often as “Spaceballs” and “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” I remember the film being a whole lot funnier back then.

Clue: The Movie was released on Blu-ray on August 7, 2012.
Photo credit: Paramount Home Entertainment

After helming this inauspicious directorial debut, Lynn went on to have far greater success with the crime comedies “My Cousin Vinny” and “The Whole Nine Yards,” which both provided more screen time for actors to deliver the goods. “Vinny” star Marisa Tomei surely wouldn’t have snagged the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress if the film hadn’t granted her the opportunity to deliver her biological clock speech, which serves no plot function apart from deepening her character. The banter in “Clue” is too clipped and insipid to build any comic momentum, thus forcing the actors to resort to low-rent mugging. Anytime a glimmer of hilarity materializes, the film quickly abandons it. Consider the exquisite Kahn, decked out in funeral garb and carrying an expression grim enough to suit any member of the Tenenbaum family. When she attempts to explain her overpowering hatred for an old foe, Kahn remains uproariously deadpan as she incoherently mumbles about the flames encircling her head. Lynn only allows for about ten seconds of this diversion before Curry cuts her off, but I wouldn’t have minded a full ten minutes of Kahn’s incoherent mumbling—anything to interrupt this dud of a script. Only on a few sporadic occasions does Lynn devise a legitimately funny dialogue exchange, the best of which occurs when Wadsworth interrogates Mrs. White about her past husbands.

Wadsworth: “Your first husband also disappeared!”

Mrs. White: “That was his job—he was an illusionist.”

Wadsworth: “But he never reappeared!”

Mrs. White: [pause] “He wasn’t a very good illusionist.”

“Clue: The Movie” is presented in 1080p High Definition (with a 1.85:1 aspect ratio), accompanied by English, French, Spanish and Portuguese audio tracks, and includes all three alternate endings that were randomly attached to prints during the film’s theatrical release. Viewers can choose to watch the film with one of the three endings, or all three stitched together (as they were in the film’s VHS release). All of them are beyond ludicrous, though it must be said that “Ending A” is by far the most inventive. If you are determined to watch “Clue,” I highly suggest watching it with all three endings intact, since the film isn’t nearly funny enough to make repeat viewings worth the effort…unless you happen to be 11.

By MATT FAGERHOLM Staff Writer HollywoodChicago.com matt@hollywoodchicago.com