Film Review: ‘Shark Night 3D’ is Stupid Enough to Be a Cult Film

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CHICAGO – “Shark Night 3D” is at the top of the food chain when it comes to the people-so-stupid-they-lack-basic-survival-skills category of horror thrillers, and has so many wrong elements it nearly swings back to be right. Oscarman rating: 2.0/5.0
Rating: 2.0/5.0

The biggest problem with Shark Night is that it’s deadly dull in spots, and strangely judicious in how they show the actual sharks. The 3D per usual is useless, unless you like chunks of fish goo floating around your eyes. Believe it or not, the acting is quite sincere (and over the top), and some of the dialogue is of the so-bad-it’s-good variety, nominating it for future cult status. The production would have been improved by excising the dull parts, but then again if they were thrown out the film would have been about 30 minutes.

In a nod to its classic predecessor “Jaws,” Shark 3D starts out with the promise of obscure nudity and comely girl shark attack. Oddly, it then cuts to Tulane University, where 45 minutes of college kids borrowing the parent’s lake house ensues. We meet Sara (Sara Paxton), the host of the house party, and her pals Nick (Dustin Milligan), Beth (Katharine McPhee), Blake (Chris Zylka), Maya (Alyssa Diaz), Gordon (Joel David Moore) and Malik (Sinqua Walls).

As the merriment is about to begin, there are some menacing elements. Sara was involved with local boy Dennis (Chris Carmack) and an accident she caused scarred his face. He hangs around with Red (Joshua Leonard), who ogles the gals and files his shark-like teeth. The local lawman Sabin (Donal Logue) promises protection, but faster than you can say Steven Spielberg, Malik is hit by a shark attack (loss of his arm) while water skiing. Everybody is a target in this salt water lake, as every form of shark is laying low in the depths.

“Shark Night 3D” opens everywhere on September 2nd. See local listings for 3D theaters and show times. Featuring Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Joel David Moore, Alyssa Diaz, Sinqua Walls, Joshua Leonard and Donal Logue, Screenplay by Will Hayes and Jesse Studenberg, directed by David R. Ellis. Rated “PG-13”.

StarContinue reading for Patrick McDonald’s full review of “Shark Night 3D”

How Convenient: Sara Paxton as Sara Stands in Front of her Lake House Without a Phone in ‘Shark Night 3D’
How Convenient: Sara Paxton as Sara Stands in Front of her Lake House Without a Phone in ‘Shark Night 3D’
Photo credit: Steve Dietl for © Incentive Film Productions

StarContinue reading for Patrick McDonald’s full review of “Shark Night 3D”

Wilburrr's picture

not that bad

Went to see this movie on a whim last night and really enjoyed the campiness of it. Enough bright spots and girls in bikinis to make it entertaining.

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