Film Feature: The 10 Worst Films of 2010

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5. Yogi Bear

Yogi Bear
Photo credit: Warner Bros. Pictures

This is an instance where a film of the pitch for this movie would undoubtedly be more interesting than one second of the final product. “It’s time to bring back Yogi Bear.” “The cartoon?” “No, a live action film…in 3-D.” “Get out of my office.” Unfortunately the last line never occurred because this partially animated waste got the green light. After the green light, it became a paycheck cashing derby, as some genius decided that Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake would be perfect to voice Yogi and Boo Boo. B-list stars like Tom Cavanagh and Anna Faris also ran to the bank, and still had problems focusing on what became the animatronic representations of the bears. And Aykroyds’s “perfect” Yogi impression? You could hear his distinct Canadian accent in every third line.

MITIGATING FACTOR: Watching the old Yogi Bear cartoons from the 1960s proves you can never go home again.

4. Life As We Know It

Life As We Know It
Photo credit: Warner Bros. Pictures

Someone must stop Katherine Heigl before she releases again! Her formula has gotten so familiar she has birthed her own genre. She’s always a single gal – although in real life she couldn’t walk a block and stay single – who is plucky and/or misunderstood, which is why she’s single. This film is very high concept, her married best friends die and through a series of legal gymnastics (that would make the Supreme Court faint) Katie gets custody of their daughter, shared with a mutual male friend of the couple (Josh Duhamel) who she finds repulsive. Will they eventually be a couple? Spoiler alert: Yes. This forgone conclusion is set up by 110 minutes of wackiness, including the worse stoner scene put to celluloid.

MITIGATING FACTOR: If theater managers offered samples of the wacky tobackee, a couple laughs may have been generated. Maybe.

3. MacGruber

MacGruber
Photo credit: Rogue Pictures

In my original review, I theorized that Will Forte had intentionally written a horrible film so he would never have to characterize MacGruber again. Mission Accomplished. After watching the Saturday Night Live short films of the character, a slimly funny take-off of the old TV show “MacGyver,” I don’t think anyone would have guessed that MacGruber would be a foul-mouthed, sexually offensive weasel, which is how Forte drew him. This was a career killer for all involved, including a Val Kilmer so bloated he could have floated in the Macy’s Parade. Ryan Phillippe, once on Easy Street as the spouse of Reese Witherspoon, is reduced to shoving a celery stalk in a lower orifice (yes, you read that right).

MITIGATING FACTOR: No more…MacGruber!

2. Love and Other Drugs

Love and Other Drugs
Photo credit: Twentieth Century Fox Film Corp.

Not only did this film stink, it was borderline offensive. It seemed to be written (three male screenwriters) by people who needed to get back at women somehow, because the background humiliation of women in this film is epic. The miracle of the “drug” in this movie is not anything that cures cancer. It’s Viagra. Make sure your heart is prepare for that shock. Truly one of the weirdest scenes was a montage celebrating the sex drug breakthrough, in which the extras looked like they were having a big “O” onscreen. And Jake Gyllenhaal joined up with Bobby De Niro in the I-can’t-get-it-down club, circa 2010 film year. Oh yeah, and Anne Hathaway had Parkinson’s Disease.

MITIGATING FACTOR: Hathaway dropped her no-nudity clause for this film. Yes…she…did.

The Dreaded 1. The Back-up Plan

The Back-up Plan
Photo credit: CBS Films

In three years of reviewing films professionally, I’d never given a score of ZERO to any movie. Hell, in the 15 years before that, combining blogging and year end overviews, I never gave a zero. It took J-Lowest to finally break the streak. Jennifer Lopez, about five years beyond the appropriate age for this role, portrays a pet store owner who never works, which is why she is artificially inseminating herself to have a baby (why couldn’t Sex and the City had thought of that?). Of course, despite her tight clothing, she is single, and meets the perfect man just as the juice does it’s bizness! Her perfection is a goat farmer who makes cheese (Alex O’Loughlin), but still finds time to do serious pec work and what looks to be laser hair removal. Three veteran actors – Tom Bosley (who passed away this year, RIP), Linda Lavin (called Nana) and Robert Klein (spouting the most embarrassing dialogue of his long career) – watch their careers and this film sink into the tarpit of 2010.

MITIGATING FACTOR: On behalf of the staff at HollywoodChicago.com, here’s hoping you avoid the cinematic pitfalls in 2011. Happy New Year.

By PATRICK McDONALD Senior Staff Writer HollywoodChicago.com pat@hollywoodchicago.com