Adam Fendelman

Superhero Film ‘Hancock’ With No Superhero Ancestry Proves Bold But Deadly Decision

HollywoodChicago.com — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 01:19:27 -0700

Rating: 2.0/5.0

CHICAGO – With superhero films as hot in 2008 as psychedelics were in the 1960s, the new blockbuster superhero film “Hancock” fits in with the label but without any of the ancestry.

While 2008 superhero films such as “Iron Man,” “The Incredible Hulk,” “The Dark Knight,” “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” and “Punisher: War Zone” (along with “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” coming in 2009) are all based on previous stories with a previously ravenous fan base, “Hancock” with an alcoholic and listless Will Smith and Charlize Theron – who hides a surprise bombshell – literally comes from nowhereland.

Charlize Theron (left) and Will Smith in “Hancock”.
Photo credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment

In fact, “Hancock” is the only 2008 superhero film not derived from a previously established comic book.

Will Smith in “Hancock”.
Photo credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment

The original script for “Hancock,” which was inked by Vincent Ngo in 1996 and called “Tonight, He Comes,” was shuffled through the Hollywood director’s circuit until director Peter Berg (“The Kingdom,” “Friday Night Lights,” “The Rundown”) finally ate it up in Oct. 2006. Filming began in July 2007.

Its truly original origin could have either been its golden savior or its deadly assassin. The decision ultimately proved treacherous as everything it tried to do to be different just made it the same.

Its originality actually might not seem so novel, too, once you consider the 1983 film “The Return of Captain Invincible”. In that film, Alan Arkin plays Captain Invincible and Christopher Lee plays his nemesis (Mr. Midnight).

Captain Invincible is asked to return from retirement to the superhero battlefields, but this time around, he’s a raging alcoholic. Sound familiar? Uh huh.

Upon closer scrutiny, the principal downfall of “Hancock” isn’t even in the question of its origins but more in the forcefulness of its script. “Hancock” felt entirely too written. A good film, of course, is written eloquently well – so well, in fact, that you forget it’s written. A hackneyed story feels forcefully written.

Will Smith (center) “Hancock”.
Photo credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment

After writers Vincent Ngo and Vince Gilligan launched off on their journey to script a man who can demolish the street beneath him at the mere jetting away into the sky, they added Superman-like strength. As for where to go next, you can actually feel them pondering the decision. They then inked something cliché because they were already committed to the process and the big Hollywood dollars would be on the line.

Now Smith’s cliché costuming to look the superhero part was actually the least cliché part of the entire script. Smith’s character despised it, appeared awkward in it and actually successfully sold you on more authentically being that inebriated chap. Sporting a costume that looked like it could have been purchased at Walgreen’s on a man who felt more comfortable being naked was refreshingly witty.

Will Smith (second from left), Jason Bateman (second from right) and Charlize Theron in “Hancock”.
Photo credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment

All in all, we can’t be satisfied with all the “Hancock” plot twists and turns because we didn’t get to the heart of what actually makes a superhero a superhero. Will Smith himself doesn’t know and couldn’t tell you if you asked him – even after he has been jailed, rehabilitated and PR spun by Jason Bateman who’s trying to change the world.

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While it is a bit of a twist to make your “good” superhero hated and then needed and then loved once he learns to love himself, focusing on that internal exploration of the superhero felt like the self-discovery process should have happened privately with Dr. Phil rather than as a central plotline in a major Hollywood film.

Now Charlize Theron’s character had teeth. Will Smith as an anonymous “John Hancock” who can’t remember his genesis is branded by the film as a Bruce Willis-like “Unbreakable” character, but who the heck is Charlize Theron? Is she just the scorching wife of PR man Jason Bateman or does she have something incredible up her sleeve, too?

“Hancock” director Peter Berg would have been better served directing this script with a focus on her as the central character – a character who veils who she really is under the guise of humanity rather than the bumbling, stumbling Will Smith who merely cloaks his superhero depression with a bottle. Any takers for “The Incredible Housewife”?

“Hancock,” which features Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman and director Michael Mann in a small acting role, opened everywhere on July 2, 2008.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

‘Wanted’ With Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy Concocts Curving Bullet in Gluttonously Entertaining Blockbuster

HollywoodChicago.com — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:01:00 -0700

Rating: 4.5/5.0

CHICAGO – With curving, clinking and kissing bullets, “Wanted” indeed does Chicago proud. And Angelina Jolie sells it. And Morgan Freeman is ominous. And in his body of work, James McAvoy – the star of this orgasmic summer blockbuster – becomes a man.

Fox (Angelina Jolie) shoots from the driver’s side of her Dodge Viper in the action-thriller that tells the tale of one apathetic nobody’s transformation into an unparalleled enforcer of justice in “Wanted”.
Photo credit: Universal Pictures

Many Chicagoans have been keenly aware of the film’s local filming throughout downtown Chicago and Broadview, Ill.

Angelina Jolie as Fox in “Wanted”.
Photo credit: Jaap Buitendijk

After also focusing its filming lens throughout the Czech Republic and Hungary, Chicago’s prominence reigns surprisingly dominant and central to the film’s assassin-based plot of one “apathetic nobody’s transformation into an unparalleled enforcer of justice”.

James McAvoy is the man of the hour, and in a short 110 minutes, is handed a Hollywood renovation from an initially fear-laden, listless boy to a surgically precise killer who’d give Matt Damon’s character (Jason Bourne) in “The Bourne Ultimatum” a fight for his life.

“Wanted” features Chicago front and center not only in its aesthetics but also central to its high-adrenaline pacing and action sequences. The Universal Pictures film needed exactly this big-city, fast-action feel to haunt McAvoy with the necessary vibrations in his quest to decide who he really is.

While “Wanted” is chock full of innovation – especially in its fight sequences and “The Matrix”-inspired special effects on ludicrously entertaining Hollywood steroids – the film at times still falls victim to the traditional stereotypes of what you’d expect in an assassin action-thriller with an ever-increasing death count.

“Wanted,” which was pushed back to a June 27, 2008 release date from an initial March 28, 2008 plan, won’t accrue the high marks and huge numbers it deserves because of its story alone. This is an outright action fest of sensory enchantment, carnal killing and orgasmic delight.

James McAvoy as Wesley in the action-thriller that tells the tale of one apathetic nobody’s transformation into an unparalleled enforcer of justice in “Wanted”.
Photo credit: Jaap Buitendijk

While ultimately not blown away by the power of its story as a whole – yes, it can be said “Wanted” is just another assassin film with big names, fancy sequencing and the PR machine in full gear – James McAvoy’s character is an important one many people can relate to. As well, it actually conveys a valuable message.

On the flip side, the “Loom of Fate” is a god-awful plotline decision. A loom in a textile factory that spells out who you should kill and assassins blindly follow the decades-old machine to the bloody death of someone they’ve never met and know nothing about? Cut. Edit. Rewrite. Something else. Just not that.

But like McAvoy as Wesley Gibson, are you also in a dead-end, 9-to-5 desk job that you either just tolerate or actually despise because you have bills to pay even though your passion might be something else entirely that can’t pay your living?

A handcrafted bullet makes its way to an unfortunate target in the action-thriller that tells the tale of one apathetic nobody’s transformation into an unparalleled enforcer of justice in “Wanted”.
Photo credit: Universal Pictures

Not all of us have the bravado to utter the sure-to-get-fired “death mouth” to the boss. Certainly in the real world we don’t then transform into a crushing assassin and find our calling in offing people. But this is just a metaphor to inspire you to find and live your own calling.

While the plot’s somewhat tired – yeah, yeah: no one can trust anyone, everyone’s out to get someone and one man must learn to rise above them all – first-time U.S. film director Timur Bekmambetov sells the journey as one that’s genuinely inspirational.

The “Wanted” we’re seeing now, though, came from an entirely different origin: comic books.

Not only was the entire “supervillains take over the world” storyline dropped in this “Wanted” but originally in the comic book the story takes place in an alternate present day. Bekmambetov’s “Wanted” strays so significantly from its comic origins that you can hardly tell where it came from.

The premise was for these supervillains to “band together … and use their vast collective powers – including mad science, magic and mind control – to eliminate all the world’s superheroes and rewrite reality in their own dark image.”

Instead – and along with delivering a delicious and indisputably entertaining film – screenwriters Michael Brandt, Derek Haas and Chris Morgan manage to dig down deep and pose one of the more thought-provoking questions a blockbuster has taunted audiences with in some time:

“What have you done with your life lately?”

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It’s a critically important question. On one hand, intended “Wanted” moviegoers have already committed to purchasing their ticket because Hollywood allows us to peer into the darkest depths of our most primal instincts and unshackle the chastity belts of our most sensual fantasies.

But on the other – a side you wouldn’t foresee in a film with the mission to dish out a decidedly raucous ass kickin’ – McAvoy’s pursuit to buck the normalcy of his paper-pushing life and his verbally abusive cubicle boss in favor of something that makes him feel alive shouldn’t inspire us to unleash our literal killer within.

In the subtle subtext of this entertainment behemoth, we are urged to find our own path that transforms our life into one that’s worth living. We are to choose one where waking up and falling asleep every day isn’t all for nothing. Rather than just floating by, it’s time to wake up and be alive.

“Wanted,” which opened everywhere on June 27, 2008, stars James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman, Terence Stamp, Common and David O’Hara.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

‘WALL-E’ Earns Accolade as 2008’s First Perfect Film, One of Best Pixar Films Ever

HollywoodChicago.com — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 22:01:00 -0700

Rating: 5.0/5.0
(rarely perfect)

CHICAGO – While perfection can be characterized in many ways, there’s only one way to define perfect in the world of film: a picture that has everything you could ask for with nothing you could cut. Though this is a highly unlikely proposition, “WALL-E” has become 2008’s first perfect film and one of the best Pixar projects of all time.

The man with the ingeniously imaginative story and the decisive direction to be credited with every inch of success “WALL-E” is destined to reap is none other than Andrew Stanton.

WALL-E in “WALL-E”.
Photo credit: Disney/Pixar

Indeed, Stanton is intimately familiar with what it takes to scribe a successful animated story of gargantuan proportions after having done so with “Finding Nemo” (nearly $865 million in worldwide box-office receipts), “Monsters, Inc.” ($525 million), “Toy Story 2” ($485 million), “A Bug’s Life” ($363 million) and “Toy Story” ($362 million).

“WALL-E” director Andrew Stanton has his headshot taken on Feb. 28, 2007 at Pixar Animation Studios in Emeryville, Calif.
Photo credit: Deborah Coleman/Pixar, copyright Disney/Pixar

In total, that dossier of animated success – every one of them under the Pixar umbrella using its own PhotoRealistic RenderMan computer interface for high-quality image generation – earns Stanton the plaque of most profitable and successful screenwriter for Disney’s Pixar Animation Studios.

Stanton, who also executive produced the wildly successful 2007 animated film “Ratatouille,” not only again brings on the magic with “WALL-E” but even manages to best himself in pure originality and the creation of characters you can’t help but to fall madly in love with.

While the animated Pixar film “Cars” was a paper financial success ($462 million in earnings on a $120 million production budget), at the heart of Stanton’s style is the opposite: a rock-solid story, characters who are evocatively etched into your brain and personalities who tug at your heartstrings.

Despite public outcry, WALL-E is nothing like the robot Number 5 from 1986’s “Short Circuit”. While he’s the furthest species from humanity, his personality traits epitomize everything that’d make a human perfect: he’s a hard worker, adorable, perpetually devoted and perhaps most important he has a love-craving heart of gold.

WALL-E (left) and Eve (right) in “WALL-E”.
Photo credit: Disney/Pixar

“Spending every day doing what he was made for (trash collecting) but soon discovering what he was meant for” isn’t just a cheesy line from someone with a catchy PR pen. WALL-E – whose voice was created by elite “Star Wars” sound designer Ben Burtt – goes with the flow of life to embody exactly that destiny while doing something uniquely human more of us should: He just does what feels right.

Now the “WALL-E” character Eve – who’s voiced by relative newbie Elissa Knight from previous “Cars” fame – is no gentle flower. At the mere sight of a scurry, Eve’s instinct is to blow things up. WALL-E, though, soothes her anxieties while she fills his loneliness and purpose.

WALL-E (right) in “WALL-E”.
Photo credit: Disney/Pixar

After kids everywhere develop a ravenous WALL-E following and adults everywhere fall in love all over again with what it means to fall in love, we’re once again reminded that there’s hope for Hollywood. Despite some of the trash Hollywoood spits out and the financial failures it endures, here Hollywood has fashioned a profitable “product” with real-life hope for the planet we’re devouring.

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Hope for our present-day world from an animated film for kids? While that may sound melodramatic, Stanton’s screenplay features front and center an unexpected “green” substory. The formidable environmental message even manages not to engage in a single lick of politics.

What’s decidedly green in “WALL-E” is primarily in its imagery – actually green imagery at times – along with the underlying concept that a single plant could colonize a dilapidated Earth all over again. And why couldn’t it? That’s how we started anyway.

While the story is about 50 percent consumed by WALL-E and 40 percent centered on Eve, the remaining balance is comprised of cameos by fun-loving and hilariously malfunctioning robot companions.

Though their names are unfortunately omitted from mention in the film, there’s a vacuum named VAQ-M, a robotic beautician named PR-T, an umbrella named BRL-A, a light named L-T, a massaging machine named HAN-S and an obsessive-compulsive cleaning character named M-O.

“WALL-E,” which will open everywhere on June 27, 2008 from Disney’s Pixar Animation Studios, is written and directed by Andrew Stanton and features voice work from Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy and Sigourney Weaver.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

Uproarious, Talent-Packed ‘The Love Guru’ a Script of Destiny From Funnyman Mike Myers

HollywoodChicago.com — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:17:18 -0700

Rating: 3.5/5.0

CHICAGO – Commendably co-written by Mike Myers (who also wrote characters for 2002’s “Austin Powers in Goldmember” and 1999’s “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”), you know lines like “sheket bevakasha” came directly from his bowels.

Granted, I was one of the few at my screening to understand this Hebrew line as “quiet, please” and laugh at its precision placement, but that’s OK.

Though always known as a hippie funnyman, the novel script for “The Love Guru” actually holds personal and grave emotional value for Myers. He has said the film is a “reflection of the spiritual journey” he traveled after the 1991 death of his father.

Jessica Alba as Jane Bullard in the comedy “The Love Guru”.
Photo credit: George Kraychyk

The Beatles lead guitarist George Harrison died on Nov. 29, 2001, which literally was the final day of filming for 2002’s “Austin Powers in Goldmember”. Upon opening a letter from Harrison, Myers told MTV on April 9, 2008 that he thought to himself: “OK, universe. I think I get it. This is the movie you want me to make.”

Yes, that’s actually Justin Timberlake as Jacques Grande in “The Love Guru”.
Photo credit: George Kraychyk

While Mike Myers proves he’s more than just Austin Powers through new plotlines taking him to new lands, he’s still the relatively same hilarious, hippie-loving beatnik no matter his purpose for being on screen.

Myers co-wrote this highly original script with rookie screenwriter Graham Gordy whose only other writing credit goes to a little-known film entitled “War Eagle, Arkansas”. Gordy also plays a small role in “The Love Guru,” which shot principal photography in Toronto, Ontario.

While for some “The Love Guru” may feel as though its gags were forced and unworthy as a script of pure hilarity, those same opponents will find themselves either secretly snickering or outright chortling in a seat-bouncing fashion.

So, yes, I’m bucking critical consensus and awarding overall funny credit for originality and guffaws that will deliver for you either clearly or furtively.

Part of me can’t believe I’m writing this, but for the first time, mega pop-singer Justin Timberlake is actually transformative as an actor. I went in vaguely remembering he’s featured in this film and then forgot about this nugget of information only for it to be mentioned again later.

On double take, I attempted asking my mental self which character he played.

Mike Myers stars as Guru Pitka in the comedy “The Love Guru”.
Photo credit: George Kraychyk

Having to look him up for a mental image associated with his name, I of course immediately recalled his seminal villain character as Jacques “La Coq” Grande: the hockey goalie trying to steal away the woman who Romany Malco as hockey phenom Darren Roanoke is rightfully married to.

This sets up the plot where Myers as Guru Pitka has a shot at millions in cash, the chance to appear on Chicago’s “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and ultimately the opportunity to best the world’s No. 1 guru – Deepak Chopra (a real-life Indian medical doctor and writer) – and launch himself forward from the No. 2 slot.

Jessica Alba (center) as Jane Bullard in the comedy “The Love Guru”.
Photo credit: George Kraychyk

Guru Pitka – who enjoys speaking into a prehistoric, voice-changing machine that hilariously transforms his voice into Morgan Freeman’s – has to love counsel Roanoke back with his wife to spur his confidence. This is all to assist the ailing Toronto Maple Leafs (owned by the fiery siren Jessica Alba) in “breaking their curse” (OK, that’s unoriginally stolen) and winning the Stanley Cup.

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While Alba again burns up the screen every moment she’s on it, her presence in “The Love Guru” is yet again felt as Hollywood eye candy without meaningful acting substance. Cameos by Jessica Simpson, Kanye West and Rob Blake (a Los Angeles Kings hockey player) are used sparingly and appropriately.

Verne Troyer – who is notably known by his dwarfism and stands at 2 feet 8 inches – plays a key role as coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yes, Troyer returns to work with Myers again after playing the ever-memorable role as Mini-Me in “Austin Powers in Goldmember” and “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me” in 1999.

Stephen Colbert of the U.S. satirical television show “The Colbert Report” adds another acting credit to his list as Myers’ money-hungry agent and business partner Jay Kell.

The ever-brilliant Ben Kingsley – who played Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi in 1982’s “Gandhi” – wonderfully disappears into the cross-eyed role of Myers’ guru trainer Guru Tugginmypudha.

“The Love Guru” opened everywhere on June 20, 2008.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

‘The Incredible Hulk’ Indeed Jacked Up on CGI Roids, But Medusa’s in His Face

HollywoodChicago.com — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:01:00 -0700

Rating: 4.0/5.0

CHICAGO – Technology has done double-edged service and disservice to the legendary Hulk superhero character from Stan Lee’s Marvel Comics.

In peering at the CGI-created ripped body of nothing remotely reminiscent of Edward Norton, the 2008 film iteration of “The Incredible Hulk” has a leg light years up on Lou Ferrigno’s character in the 1978 television series of the “The Incredible Hulk”. Then, Ferrigno only had the luxury of makeup. The rest was the real deal.

The unbridled force of rage known as The Hulk on the streets of New York in an all-new, explosive and action-packed epic of one of the most popular superheroes of all time in “The Incredible Hulk”.
Photo credit: Rhythm & Hues

On the other hand, Ferrigno – who treats 2008 audiences in a gasping reveal when he appears in a brief cameo in the new Louis Leterrier-directed feature film – is still the soul, spirit and most critically the face of the green-skinned behemoth.

Edward Norton stars as Dr. Bruce Banner in an all-new, explosive and action-packed epic of one of the most popular superheroes of all time in “The Incredible Hulk”.
Photo credit: Michael Gibson

Aside from Ferrigno’s brief face time, he also lurks notably in the background as Norton’s voice when the character gets royally pissed and transforms into the Hulk.

When Norton fumes past his human limit, honing in on the Hulk character’s technologically enhanced face is awkwardly unrealistic and utterly painful.

It’s like gazing into the eyes of the sea nymph Medusa whose monstrous face could threateningly turn onlookers to stone.

While Hollywood’s big-budget technology department both strikes out and smashes a homerun with its revamped and roided-up Hulk character, Tim Roth’s altered ego gets the just-right royal treatment.

When Roth becomes the Abomination to rival the Hulk, the abominable baddie is so disgustingly repulsive and out of such reality whack that his CGI renovation plays perfectly.

A monstrous new adversary known as The Abomination faces off with The Hulk in an all-new, explosive and action-packed epic of one of the most popular superheroes of all time in “The Incredible Hulk”.
Photo credit: Rhythm & Hues

Like he did in all three “Spider-Man” films, various “X-Men” films and many other Marvel film products, Marvel phenom Stan Lee (the former chairman of Marvel Comics) again can’t help but pop in for his moment of minor screen glory.

Now Liv Tyler – who hasn’t memorably emerged in a film since 1998’s “Armageddon” – can finally be classified as the new Meg Ryan with her heartfelt delivery as Edward Norton’s young love.

While you felt sorry for the forgettable bloke who she swiftly casts aside when she’s suddenly reunited with Norton, suffice it to say they’ve got game together. Her chemistry especially for Norton is a surprisingly tender balance to the film’s mammoth smashing and outrageous carnage.

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Norton himself is trademarked by his restraint. As he seeks a cure for the gamma radiation poisoning that periodically unleashes the barbarian, he works tirelessly on his Zen. He even scrutinizes the condition with a pulse-monitoring watch.

In particular, a near-sex scene between Norton and Tyler sheds comical light on the situation when his heart rate escalates and he’s forced to stop before something incredible pops up.

While 2008’s “The Incredible Hulk” delivers the heart-pounding, Hulk-smashing thrill ride audiences expect, the real story of the film is in its substory and how those trinkets will be ironed out in the future.

While Robert Downey Jr. is uncredited in the film, there’s an avenging reason to drop the nugget of a “super soldier serum,” Captain America and “getting the team together”. Indeed, this wild ride will carry on.

“The Incredible Hulk” opened everywhere on June 12, 2008.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

Adam Sandler is White Ladies Man in Judd Apatow’s ‘You Don’t Mess With the Zohan’

HollywoodChicago.com — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 22:01:00 -0700

Rating: 3.5/5.0

CHICAGO – In the relatively anemic anthology of recent Adam Sandler flops, “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” hangs above with comedic charm and a nonsensically amusing plotline. The story is divisively intermingled with racial and ethnic sensitivities between the Israelis and Palestinians.

At first, it even feels like a scribe sat down for a few weeks, slammed back a few brewskies and toked daily on the good ganja while attempting to ink a forcefully novel plot.

Emmanuelle Chriqui as Dalia in “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”.
Photo credit: Columbia Pictures

Surprisingly, its idiosyncratic nature tends to work as you build esteem for the libidinous man Adam Sandler has transformed into.

While Sandler has played the full gamut of roles in recent memory, this time he’s actually a Thor who beckons women to his sexual mercy.

Sandler as Zohan is the white version of the legendary Tim Meadows character The Ladies Man from “Saturday Night Live” but with a thick Israeli accent.

Zohan is an Israeli counter-terrorist commando who fakes his own death in order to pursue his unlikely and embarrassing dream of becoming a hairstylist in New York.

To make matters more outlandishly canned, Zohan’s arch nemesis, Phantom (played by John Turturro), has a similarly humiliating reverie: selling shoes.

Lainie Kazan is welcome motherly relief – except when she’s revealed utterly nude from the rear and causes an eruptive audience gasp – and Rob Schneider, of course, can’t let an Adam Sandler flick make it to the big screen without joining him on it.

As well, you might have noticed Dave Matthews in the film, but I didn’t.

In “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan,” Adam Sandler stars as Zohan: an Israeli commando who fakes his own death in order to pursue his dream of becoming a hairstylist in New York.
Photo credit: Columbia Pictures

Hollywood hands Sandler a bone throughout the course of his reinvented, Jason Bourne-like ways and affords him the moves, styles and suave demeanor even Sandler in real life would envy.

Indeed, he epitomizes making love and not war and even isn’t shy about “making sticky” with women who had to be pushing 80. Whew.

The one woman he fancies the most and doesn’t return your stomach’s digestive matter is the beautiful and enormously unlikely love interest Sandler would never actually touch with a 100-foot stick: Emmanuelle Chriqui.

The Israeli Zohan begs the Palestinian siren to work for her in her New York hair salon.

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She quixotically accepts – because Sandler’s co-written script with the on-fire Judd Apatow told her to – despite his having zero experience and initially thinking Paul Mitchell himself would hire him.

Mitchell later is wasted with an unnecessary cameo where he absurdly calls Sandler to implore his employment.

Due to Zohan’s Hollywood-blessed ability to rack in the female clientele with his sexual deviance, Sandler denies what was once his ultimate fantasy in an ultimately scripted act of employer loyalty.

This script worked its magic best when you temporarily forgot it was trying ever-so delicately to roil you silly out of your seat but fell flat when its corniness unnaturally tried much too hard.

While one could respect the amped-up Hacky Sacking, Hacky Sacking a live and meowing cat? Now come on. That’s even more cruel than squirrel fishing.

“You Don’t Mess With the Zohan” opened everywhere on June 6, 2008.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

‘Sex and the City: The Movie’ a Frilly University For Understanding the Human Condition

HollywoodChicago.com — Thu, 29 May 2008 23:14:47 -0700

CHICAGO – To its voracious universe of cult-following fans, it feels like a television marathon that spans an entire season. To everyone else who bats an indifferent eye at the religion that is “Sex and the City,” it may surprise you to find that all the glam and glitz has something even for you to learn, too.

Sarah Jessica Parker stars as Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex and the City: The Movie”.
Credit: Craig Blankenhorn, New Line Cinema

The thorniest proposition for “Sex and the City: The Movie,” though, is opening the minds of all the anti-fashionistas (such as yours truly) and those who habitually bottle up their emotions for safekeeping.

After all, “Sex and the City” is often about a word that hurls the masses off in a scurry: feeling. For those who embrace all that is “love and labels,” though, the film begins by succinctly flashing back on plotlines avid followers know all too well.

Season watchers are nearly forced and relatively brainwashed into securing a theater seat, and unfortunately, followers and non-followers alike arrive to the theater with having already been told much too much from the trailer.

Will Carrie marry Big? Will Charlotte – who’s thought to be infertile – have her own baby? What will become of Miranda and the cheating Steve? Will the scurrilous Samantha actually settle down with Smith? Will the predominantly white cast finally paint some color into the picture?

To the last question, Chicago’s Jennifer Hudson (who on the film’s “pink carpet” said she gets bronzed by rubbing on her “Dreamgirls” Oscar) says yes. As for the other questions, the film would have injected even more “what’ll happen next?” revelation by not giving such an initial peek up its own dress.

After initially cursing the all-too-telling trailer, I planted myself in my theater seat prepared for a 142-minute commitment. Not so. At our press screening, we were treated to another 30 minutes of a live satellite feed that counted down to the Chicago screening with the pink-carpet coverage.

Left to right: Kristin Davis as Charlotte York-Goldenblatt, Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw, Cynthia Nixon as Miranda Hobbes and Kim Cattrall as Samantha Jones in New Line Cinema’s “Sex and the City: The Movie”.
Photo credit: Craig Blankenhorn, New Line Cinema

Combined, the experience even neared the 195 minutes it took Steven Spielberg to give justice to the entire Holocaust in 1993’s “Schindler’s List”. Writer and director Michael Patrick King could have cut nearly 30 minutes of screen time had he met with an editor by the name of No Cheese For Me, Please.

Alas, though, this critic indeed scores “Sex and the City: The Movie” with a relatively positive rating of 3.5 out of 5.0.

Despite the aforementioned relatively trifling gripes, the film indeed gets to the heart of the human matter. In consistently exploring and explicitly discussing what women feel and what men need, the subject matter has a higher purpose.

It’s a purpose that’s to be commended in entertainment today because while it’s still certainly entertainment, everyone – no matter what race, religion, sexual orientation or relationship status – has something to take from these four women and the characters who surround them.

Chris Noth as Mr. Big in “Sex and the City: The Movie”.
Photo credit: Craig Blankenhorn, New Line Cinema

Of course, the “Sex and the City” style is to offer a carrot in the beginning and then change that story morale into, say, broccoli so we’re left with something to reflect deeply about. The process of delving into a woman’s head – for a man and even another woman – is ultimately a healthy exercise in understanding the human condition.

When women constantly compare themselves to Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, they’re forced to ponder who they really are and who they want to become. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon themselves know most women are a combination of the foursome as a whole.

The film also explores a primary fifth character that – while not credited among the cast – is as large and tangible as any one of them: New York. Director Michael Patrick King has made the claim that this story couldn’t have existed anywhere else. While that’s debatable, what’s fact is that the show has brought some people to New York not only for the American dream but for the romance of falling in lasting love.

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Cast as Sarah Jessica Parker’s assistant, Jennifer Hudson has a convincing moment where she expresses exactly that pursuit. But with everyone trying to get hitched, hasn’t this story’s thesis rested squarely on the allure of being a single woman? No longer.

That said, what is it about television and film that hooks us into wondering whether someone will fall in love, break up, get married, have a baby, stop drinking or kick that drug habit?

While these celebrities are people the everyman will never associate with in their lifetimes, they’re actually more like messengers conveying portions of who we really are and hoping we find ways to improve ourselves.

That, at least, should be the point. Michael Patrick King (who also wrote various “Will & Grace,” “Cybill” and “Murphy Brown” episodes) succeeds at dangling that carrot and leaving us with something to chew on.

“Sex and the City: The Movie” opened on May 30, 2008 everywhere.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

After 19 Years, ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’ Phenomenally Exhumes Venerated Roots

HollywoodChicago.com — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:00:38 -0700

CHICAGO – After such a long respite from the beloved film progression, I was initially just as skittish about seeing Harrison Ford back in the Indy saddle as I was watching Sylvester Stallone back in the ring in “Rocky Balboa” in his 2006 comeback and then again in 2008 in his “Rambo” return.

Shia LaBeouf (left) and Harrison Ford in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”.
Photo credit: Paramount Pictures

Ultimately, though, I had faith in director Steven Spielberg not to royally torpedo the monolithically anticipated “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” which resurrects the Chicago-born, 65-year-old Harrison Ford as one of my favorite film characters of all time.

Spielberg delivers. Thank the heavens.

In grappling with Ford’s real-life age, David Koepp’s screenplay comically writes in subtle jabs to wrangle with the reality. Just like Stallone didn’t try to hide it in “Rocky Balboa” and he instead decided to honestly portray it, so did Ford’s character grow older.

Of course, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is still a major Hollywood product and Indiana Jones is still Indiana Jones. He still flings through the air with bird-like grace, whips all obstacles in his way with laser-like precision and is imbued with the film’s classic and campy “kapow!” sound effects. I love ‘em to pieces.

Shia LaBeouf (left) and Cate Blanchett in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”.
Photo credit: Paramount Pictures

While the character Indiana Jones has had an unfortunate television run by way of Sean Patrick Flanery in his young form from 1992 all the way through 2007, Harrison Ford as the real Indiana Jones we’ve all been enamored with last roughed it up in a major Spielberg production in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” in 1989.

Before that, it was five years earlier in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” in 1984 and three years earlier in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” in 1981. Yes, that’s three years between the first and second, five years between the second and third and 19 years between the third and the fourth.

Though Shia LaBeouf at first felt like he stuck out like a mutilated thumb (he’s most certainly no Jonathan Ke Quan, who played the lovable Asian sidekick Short Round in the second film), he was written in as much more than just a steadfast assistant.

He has his own attitude, his own 1950s get-up, his own fascination with knives and swords, his own quick-thinking and fast-talking demeanor and ultimately his own brewing plotline.

Harrison Ford in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”.
Photo credit: Paramount Pictures

It’s a Goliath, too. Once we learn his true relation to Indiana Jones, we’re ultimately teased about his brewing ability to be Indy’s protégé and eventual replacement.

While such a storyline is to be appreciated and realistically understood based on the realities of the series and Ford’s age, I wasn’t entirely sold that LaBeouf nailed the part of the irascible Mutt Williams. He spent too much time combing his hairdo – yes, I know it was a sign of the times – and wasn’t as rugged as he should be to even nearly fit in Indy’s shoes.

There was storyline confusion there in his character as he flip-flopped between a slick greaser and a jungle-brawling Indy trainee. The jury here on LaBeouf is still out. While it was “Disturbia” in 2007 and then ultimately “Transformers” in 2007 that launched LaBeouf into the luminous limelight, I wouldn’t be heartbroken if he was replaced in a fifth iteration of the film.

While Karen Allen was excavated out of Hollywood hiding for a respectable performance ultimately designed to satisfy your sentimentality for the series, thank the heavens again for the always “A”-list performance from Cate Blanchett.

She makes her foray into the franchise as an menacing Russian who influentially disappears into her role. She’s spot on with her transformational image and accent and couldn’t have improved with hundreds additional takes.

Jim Broadbent from 2001’s “Moulin Rouge!” is a refreshingly unexpected casting decision, John Hurt entirely escapes into his character’s insanity and Ray Winstone (who played the seminal “Beowulf” in 2007) felt like he was merely passing screen time and cashing a fat check.

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Aside from the interesting introduction of LaBeouf’s character, Blanchett’s villainous antagonizing and the return of Indy’s always entertaining adventures, history may most scratch its collective head about Koepp’s decision to scribe a plot that twists and turns down such an unexpected road.

As we learn the true meaning behind the crystal skulls and their application, this plot evolution takes us to an unexpectedly bizarre place. Talk about a thing that makes you go “hmmm”.

Indeed, the revelation is also unexpectedly bizarre in a way that makes your head go: “Um, am I still watching an Indiana Jones movie or did the projectionist splice in some other film as some sort of sick joke?”

But alas, this is the real Indiana Jones deal. Despite some dubious decisions and anomalous outcomes, the spirit remains and Hollywood this time has fantastically exhumed its venerated roots.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” opened everywhere on May 22, 2008.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

Packed With Picturesque Majesty, ‘The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian’ Fights Nobly For ‘PG’ Rating

HollywoodChicago.com — Fri, 16 May 2008 11:32:38 -0700

CHICAGO – For the life of me, I couldn’t exorcise it from my head. Amid all the splendor of such a picturesque film, this one question was like a gnat I couldn’t swat: “Is this really rated ‘PG’?” Indeed, “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” is rated “PG”. But that didn’t come without great scrutiny and much editing.

Liam Neeson (the voice of the lion Aslan) along with Georgie Henley (right) in “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”.
Photo credit: IMDb

For starters, Walt Disney Pictures contractually required the filmmakers for the epic film to achieve a “PG” rating. The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) granted it following a wide array of amendments.

For example, director Andrew Adamson (who also directed “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” in 2005, “Shrek 2” in 2004 and “Shrek” in 2001 and wrote “Shrek the Third” in 2007) changed a scene with a fallen helmet to make certain it didn’t contain a decapitated head, according to the Los Angeles Times on May 4, 2008.

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After showing the film to young audiences and gauging their reactions, Adamson in fact made copious edits. Adamson said in a May 15, 2008 interview published on NarniaWeb.com:

“When you sit down and you’re watching it and you see the kids’ faces while making the film, you’re just making an attempt. You’re making it exciting. You’re doing all these things because you’re essentially making the film for yourself. When you start showing it to an audience, that then influences how you feel about the film.”

While the “PG” rating for the recently released “Speed Racer” felt more like an opportune financial decision, the rating for “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” instead felt an appropriate artistic decision. Props go to Disney and Adamson for pushing its importance.

Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian in “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”.
Photo credit: IMDb

Despite “Troy”-like fight scenes, this was nothing like the ingenious bloodshed in “300” or the blood-spattering good time in “Gladiator”. In fact, aside from a dribble on a face or two here and there, there was no blood at all. As well, much of the brutality was implied.

Instead of swinging a sword and showing the final result, the film merely illuminated the intent without the follow through.

The decision didn’t detract from the purpose in the slightest, and along with making it more appropriate for younger audiences, it issued a renewed faith that Hollywood can spit out a money-generating product without having to spew gallons of blood and blow stuff up.

The MPAA says a “PG” film “should be investigated by parents before they let their younger children attend. The rating indicates … that parents may consider some material unsuitable for their children and parents should make that decision. There may be some profanity and some depictions of violence or brief nudity.”

By the way, “Speed Racer” thus far has proven to be a whopping financial failure. On a production budget of $120 million, the film as of May 16, 2008 has only grossed about $40 million in box-office receipts in its first six days of release, according to Box Office Mojo. “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” should fare better.

The casting decisions were also a critical element here and proved refreshingly admirable. The lead actors – Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian and the four children who played the young kings and queens (Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, William Moseley and Anna Popplewell) – were relative unknowns.

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You may vaguely remember Barnes, though, as the young Dunstan Thorn in Matthew Vaughn’s “Stardust” from 2007. While the foursome were plucked back into “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” from “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” in 2005, they have long and storied careers ahead.

The brilliantly diminutive Peter Dinklage (“The Station Agent”) is bold in his Narnian role as a dwarf. Perhaps even more pleasantly refreshing is the film’s decision to use larger-name talent in either cameo or voice roles.

Eddie Izzard voices the mouse Reepicheep), Liam Neeson voices the towering lion Aslan, and though not credited in IMDb, Tilda Swinton indeed has a cameo as The White Witch.

“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” opened everywhere on May 16, 2008.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com

‘Speed Racer’ Condemns Franchise Dignity, But Delivers Sensorial Explosion

HollywoodChicago.com — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:12:08 -0700

CHICAGO – While Hollywood slapped “PG” on the hotly anticipated “Speed Racer” to line its pocketbooks with the widest hodgepodge of people (ahem: kids) everywhere, those same kids will leave the theater with that lollipop nearly sucked to the stick but then yanked away with confusion.

Rather than the “go!” marketing hype, this is a stop-and-go proposition. Chicago brothers Larry Wachowski and Andy Wachowski are ultimately wrangling with a clear identity crisis of who this film is meant for.

Emile Hirsch in “Speed Racer”.
Photo credit: Warner Bros.

Is it the 1967 crowd who adored the American anime version following the Japanese manga creation?

Emile Hirsch (top) and Christina Ricci in “Speed Racer”.
Photo credit: Warner Bros.

Is it for today’s children who didn’t grow up with the franchise but will magically identify with it from scratch because it’s on the big screen? Perhaps it’s for “The Matrix” crowd who slobber over the Wachowski’s sensory orgy?

A slathering of all of the above will be influenced by the omnipresent advertising and power of the Wachowski name, which has been catapulted to stardom with the trail-blazing triumph of “The Matrix” films.

But with summer blockbuster season in full effect for 2008, moviegoers won’t spend in droves the way they recently did with “Iron Man,” which is so far the best-reviewed film of the year.

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With a production budget of $140 million, “Iron Man” has already earned $220 million in worldwide box-office receipts in its first six days of release, according to Box Office Mojo. With a production budget of $100 million, “Speed Racer” won’t see those kind of box-office numbers.

Despite its bevy of blemishes, you can’t deny its color. There’s an intense vibrancy to the environment that – while unrealistic in the real world – is beautifully charming in Hollywood’s CGIville.

Knowing they had to hop beyond another planet in the solar system following 2003’s “The Matrix Revolutions,” the Wachowskis don’t disappoint in the “Speed Racer” special effects department.

The brothers continue to break new ground, and in doing so, they play an important role in inspiring other visionaries to forge new lines of thinking.

Matthew Fox (middle) in “Speed Racer”.
Photo credit: Warner Bros.

Just as “The Matrix” in 1999 had sequences that have been among the most emulated in Hollywood today over the past decade, the Wachowskis continue to up their own bar.

As for Emile Hirsch as the namesake Speed Racer character, his meek and chill demeanor off the racetrack and then world-champion talent on it displays light years of transformation. This is only one year after playing a wilderness hitchhiker in the Oscar-nominated 2007 film “Into the Wild”.

That, too, came a long way from the boy Hirsch played in “The Girl Next Door”.

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As Hirsch returns to boyhood in “Speed Racer” under the inspiration of John Goodman as his “Pops” and Susan Sarandon as his mom, you’re left with the sense that he works in the playful role but hasn’t quite figured out his destiny in the bird’s eye view of his acting career.

Christina Ricci – who bested Rose McGowan (the Wachowskis felt she was too old) for the part of Trixie in “Speed Racer” – has also come full circle since memorably playing Wednesday Addams in “The Addams Family” in 1991. Due to the campy nature of “Speed Racer,” she has on one hand grown up and on another regressed back to that same child.

Larry Wachowski, by the way, is not actually Lana Wachowski. Because the Wachowski brothers decline interviews with the press, rumors surfaced in 2003 that Larry was undergoing a sex change. In 2007, Wachowski producer Joel Silver debunked the rumor. He said: “They just don’t do interviews, so people make things up.”

In April 2008, news surfaced that the reclusive Wachowski brothers will be opening a post-production studio on Chicago’s north side.

“Speed Racer” opened on May 9, 2008.

By ADAM FENDELMAN
Editor-in-Chief
HollywoodChicago.com
adam@hollywoodchicago.com