‘A Good Old Fashioned Orgy’ Can’t Get it Up

Rating: 1.0/5.0

CHICAGO – Rarely have so many talented comedians been sucked into a more depressing morass of bad comic timing and worse writing than in the dreadful “A Good Old-Fashioned Orgy,” a movie with a bunch of people I like making a comedy I really, really hate. This movie knows nothing about friendship, sex, or, most importantly, comedy.

The film opens with a dreadful “introduce the characters” montage in which we see all of them in moments of their daily life – this one’s a desk jockey, this one’s a musician, etc. – before they all scuttle off to the “White Trash Bash,” another theme party hosted by the likable Eric (Jason Sudeikis of “Horrible Bosses”) on the lavish New York estate that belongs to his distant dad (a brief cameo from Don Johnson). At the mullet-centric event, the audience meets Eric’s friends – lifelong buddy McCrudden (Tyler Labine of “Reaper”), uptight Alison (Lake Bell), unrequited love Sue (Michelle Borth), neurotic Adam (Nick Kroll of “The League”), insecure Laura (Lindsay Sloane). musician Duquez (Martin Starr), and his girlfriend Willow (Angela Sarafyan). There will be others on the periphery (Rhys Coiro, Will Forte, Lucy Punch, and a love interest role for Leslie Bibb), but these will be the core eight that will, well, get down and dirty.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy
Photo credit: Samuel Goldwyn

After they learn that Eric’s dad wants to sell the property that has been party central for most of their maturity-stunted lives, the gang decides that it calls for one last bash. But what’s the ultimate theme for the ultimate party? How can they top themselves with something that will never be forgotten? After a discussion about the loose sexual morals of the next generation, they decide that what’s been missing from their core group is casual sex. It’s time for an orgy!

On paper, “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy” probably sounds like fun. Sudeikis, Labine, and Kroll have been great before, most notably in their TV work on “SNL,” “Reaper,” and “The League,” while the women are all memorable and beautiful (Borth makes the most lasting impression as the girl that ANY guy would thinking thrice about turning into more than “just a friend” but, of course, that’s what Eric’s been doing for years for the sake of the plot). Coiro, Will Forte, David Koechner, Starr, Lucy Punch – this is a cast filled with talented comedians…given NOTHING funny to do here.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy
Photo credit: Samuel Goldwyn

“A Good Old Fashioned Orgy” is almost jaw-dropping in its comic ineptitude. If you don’t find a joke funny the first time, you’ll almost certainly hear it again and again. Characters are so two-dimensionally drawn that they can be completely described in single words – leader, friend, girlfriend, insecure, uptight, etc. Comedies like “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy” demand characters that we give a damn about but these sketchily drawn creations have less depth than the ones in the gangbang pornos that they watch for research. The only goodwill anyone might possibly have for the people about to get it on in “Orgy” is due to their previous work. I’m most concerned that audiences will see the relatively-unknown Labine here for the first time and lump him in with other annoying portly scene-crushers like Dan Fogler. He’s a talented guy. You just wouldn’t know it from this film.

And that’s what’s so depressing about “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy.” These people are better than this material. I feel bad panning something with SO many actors and actresses that I admire and typically enjoy. It’s not unlike the theory that friends shouldn’t have sex because it changes the relationship and makes people look at each other in a new light. It changes the dynamic. And seeing talented comedians in a movie as horrendous as “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy” could change the way audiences look at them. Don’t go there. Keep this cast as “just friends.”

[18]	By BRIAN TALLERICO [19] Content Director HollywoodChicago.com brian@hollywoodchicago.com [18]