CHICAGO – You will see many many better movies this year, but you’re unlikely to see one quite this batshit crazy. I’ll give Vin Diesel this much credit, at least he’s created a memorably awful blockbuster instead of one that simply fades off into the moonlight.
Rating: 1.5/5.0 |
The filmmakers seem to have started with the image of Vin Diesel scowling while holding a large flaming sword, and then reverse engineered the story from there, no doubt trying to stifle chuckles all the way. After all, this is a movie that begins and ends with Diesel facing off in an epic battle against a tree – and that tree is more rooted in reality than anything else in this movie.
“The Last Witch Hunter” casts Diesel as a medieval warrior (looking like an oversized extra from Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit). He eventually thrusts his trusty flaming sword through a medieval witch, but as she dies she curses him with the gift of immortality. Fast forward to present day where Diesel is now a kind of witch hunting Sherlock Holmes, using the occasional spell to dust for witch prints, and putting a staple in a cup of water to track down a witch riding coach on an international flight.
In the movie witches are all around, but a fragile truce is in place. They keep their magic just below the surface and agree not to use it against humans. Meanwhile Diesel acts as the muscle, and uses a cover as a private investigator of a Church sect, devoted to keeping the peace and keeping witches underground.
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[20] http://www.hollywoodchicago.com/reviews/25965/the-last-witch-hunter-at-least-is-hilariously-awful