Film Review: ‘The Three Musketeers’ Lets Down Legendary Heroes

CHICAGO – Seriously?!?! Another “The Three Musketeers”?!?! Just because source material is beloved, why does it need to be remade over and over again? Perhaps Paul W. S. Anderson’s new take on the legendary trio complete with “Resident Evil”-esque action sequences can serve as the final word on this over-done story although if it somehow ends being the only version that future generations end up seeing they will surely wonder why such a boring tale was retold so many times in the first place.

Rating: 2.0/5.0

To be fair, “The Three Musketeers” isn’t horrendous — it would be more fun if it was. It’s not goofy enough to completely come apart and Anderson regular (and wife) Milla Jovovich is typically engaging, as is Oscar-winner Christopher Waltz and great scenery-chewer Mads Mikkelsen. But Anderson proves that period pieces aren’t his forte, only coming alive during ridiculous action sequences (such as when Milla slides through a trapped corridor in what could have been a cut scene from “Ultraviolet” with merely a different costume). Most of the time, “The Three Musketeers” is merely what kids tasked to read the book by their most-hated teacher would assume it would be – boring. I never thought I’d say it but I wish Anderson had just made another “Resident Evil” movie.

Read Brian Tallerico’s full review of “The Three Musketeers” in our reviews section. [16]

The characters are legendary – Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson), Aramis (Luke Evans), and D’Artagnan (Logan Lerman) – The Three Musketeers and the young man who turns them into a heroic quartet. Although character names and the induction of D’Artagnan into a legendary group of heroes is about where loyalty to the source material begins and ends (although, honestly, betraying this oft-told tale is far from this movie’s biggest problem…I actually think it was a good idea to try to tell a new story. I just wish they had told a good one).

The film opens with Athos, Aramis, and Porthos in Venice, staging an assault on a trap-laden chamber of Leonardo da Vinci’s vault with the gorgeous Milady (Milla Jovovich). She betrays them to the Duke of Buckingham (Orlando Bloom), leaving the men downtrodden and in need of new blood like D’Artagnan to return them to heroic prominence. Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz) works with Milady (who may be betraying him in a double-double-cross) to bring down the Musketeers while manipulating the young King Louis XIII (Freddie Fox) who is also involved with an ineffective love story with Queen Anne (Juno Temple).

Continue reading for Brian Tallerico’s full “The Three Musketeers” review. [16]

The Three Musketeers
Photo credit: Summit Pictures