Video Game Review: Awful ‘Clash of the Titans’ Makes Movie Look Good

Video Game Rating: 1.0/5.0

CHICAGO – Video games are arguably in their golden age with a landmark new title like “Red Dead Redemption” or “Heavy Rain” released on a consistent basis. Even ignoring the quality at the top of the ladder, the fact is that there are more enjoyable and entertaining games to play than there are hours in the day. The relative success of the form makes something as truly horrible as “Clash of the Titans,” the tie-in for the recently-released-to-DVD film starring Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, and Gemma Arterton, all the more frustrating.

The new movie version of “Clash of the Titans” was a snooze; an action/adventure without nearly enough of either that was truly too forgettable to be too annoying. Having said that, there was at least a bit of a sense of joy and entertainment behind the bland performances and poorly-designed CGI. One got the sense that the film wasn’t merely a lazy excuse for a product but just one where a few production mistakes were made along the way.

Clash of the Titans: The Videogame
Photo credit: Namco Bandai

I make the distinction because lazy is the key word for “Clash of the Titans: The Videogame.” From the nearly-incomplete graphics to the horrible gameplay, everything about “Clash of the Titans” feels like a game that was created but never played by its developers. How could they have actually played through this title and thought, “Yeah, that’s good enough to sell”? With its nearly-incomprehensible controls and awful quest-based system, it feels like no single person ever sat down with the game from “New Game” to credits and that’s unacceptable.

Clash of the Titans: The Videogame Photo credit: Namco Bandai

The game loosely follows the action of the film in that you play Perseus and you live in a time when the Gods are starting to wreak havoc on the mortals who have taken them for granted. Perseus is forced into a series of fights against creatures that keep growing in size and danger. To progress the story, Perseus must go to people in town with “Sims”-esque icons above their heads to get a new quest. The thing is that the areas of the game are all incredibly small and there is only one way to move the game along. In other words, the quest design is merely a time-killer. Ugh.

When you do get a quest, it will pretty much involve going from point A to point B and killing some baddies along the way. Now, here’s where “Clash of the Titans” should at least provide visceral entertainment. One would assume that the game would at least provide a “God of War”-esque hack-and-slash love for skeleton-smashing violence. But even that is a failure, arguably the biggest of the game. I can’t even explain the gameplay in “Clash of the Titans.” That’s how ridiculously convoluted it is. Enemies change colors but only if you’re pushing down the left trigger and you can take their weapon at a certain time in a move called “Subseize.” Ugh again. Just let me fight. Even the combat in “Clash of the Titans” is unenjoyable.

There’s no traditional multiplayer but there is some co-operative play that becomes available a few hours into the game. Of course, that assumes that you’ll play “Clash of the Titans” for that long and that you’ll find some other sucker willing to play the worst game you own with you for a few hours. Good luck with that.

What more is there really to say? Most movie tie-in games are a mess but “Clash of the Titans” somehow limbos below the low bar to be even more of a complete disaster than you might expect. Arguably the worst major game of last year was the awful “Terminator: Salvation.” The gaming razzie may be won again by a bad game based on a bad movie.

[13]	By BRIAN TALLERICO [14] Content Director HollywoodChicago.com brian@hollywoodchicago.com [13]