Cher

CHICAGO – “Zookeeper” is a weird, weird movie. It was heavily advertised as a family film about talking animals but it’s more of a Kevin James romantic comedy and even features some dark material about the treatment of animals. In other words, it’s wildly inconsistent and sometimes just strange. Any movie that can feature a Gorilla getting a brain freeze at TGIFridays next to a standard romantic comedy love triangle next to an abuse subplot straight out of “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” is a weird, weird movie. James and Rosario Dawson are so incredibly likable that they keep it watchable but the movie just never clicks because it never picked an audience and, therefore, satisfies none of them.

CHICAGO – Not being familiar with the Kevin James filmography really helped in assessing his latest, “Zookeeper.” His appeal is very evident, and the filmmakers do some funny bits with the old “talking animal” routine.

CHICAGO – What could “Last Tango in Paris,” “Moonstruck,” and “Rain Man” possibly have in common? Two won major oscars and the third should have? All three feature some of the career-best work by iconic actors? Honestly, all that they have in common is that they weren’t out on Blu-ray before and every catalog title needs a release date eventually and so MGM chose February 15th for the trio. Pick up all three.

CHICAGO – If a musical miscalculation as epic in ineptitude as Steve Antin’s “Burlesque” is considered eligible for a Best Musical or Comedy Award, then the Golden Globes are officially advised to a.) Retire the outdated category, or b.) Retire the entire hopelessly corrupt awards show. Either decision is guaranteed to prove beneficial in the long run.

CHICAGO – Oscar. The holy day of the film industry. While other film pundits are scrambling for perspective – who made it and who didn’t – we’re giving thanks for the five 2010 films and personalities that didn’t get a nomination for Oscar night.

Rating: 0.5/5.0

CHICAGO – I worry that some impressionable youth will see Steve Antin’s horrendous “Burlesque” and be turned off musicals forever. This is not a musical. This is a music video; an ego piece for two fading stars that is one of the most creatively bankrupt pieces of cinema in years. Actually, most music videos are better.

CHICAGO – We have learned that there will be a dance contest in Chicago on Oct. 23, 2010 in celebration of the upcoming film “Burlesque” starring Cher, Christina Aguilera, Kristen Bell, Stanley Tucci, Alan Cumming and Peter Gallagher.