Video Game Review: ‘B’-Movie Style of ‘Eat Lead’ Nearly Saves Pretty Awful Game

Video Game Rating: 2.0/5.0

CHICAGO – “Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard” has so many deep, unacceptable, gameplay flaws that it couldn’t possibly merit a traditional recommendation, but the game nearly succeeds in the same way that an Ed Wood or Uwe Boll movie has fans. Have you heard the phrase “so bad it’s good”? Can it be applied to a video game?

The problem with even remotely recommending a B-movie of a game like “Eat Lead” is the purchase price. It’s easy to recommend a bad action flick or stupid horror movie when it costs under $10, but for a purchase price of $50 and up it’s impossible to do so for a game, especially in light of all the quality competition this season like “Killzone 2,” “Resident Evil 5,” “Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars,” and “Guitar Hero: Metallica”.

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard Photo credit: D3 Publishing

There’s so much potential in the concept of “Eat Lead” that it was easily one of my most anticipated titles of the season. First, it features two great comedic actors, both of whom should have Best Supporting Actor Emmys on their shelves, Will Arnett (“Arrested Development”) & Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother”). Second, it’s a spoof of shooting games in the last quarter-century, a genre ripe for parody.

And “Eat Lead” starts with a promising bang. The great Arnett voices the lead, Matt Hazard, as he tries to stage a comeback from his popular days as an ’80s game hero. Hearing Arnett crack wise as you work your way through the tutorial, it’s easy to get excited about the shooter to come.

After the tutorial and the first relatively mundane level, the real drive of “Eat Lead” kicks in. It turns out that someone’s trying to kill Matt and he’s actually supposed to die at the end of the first level. When he doesn’t die, the gaming world goes haywire as whoever is trying to take down this legendary hero throws waves of baddies from Hazard’s past into the game. The game becomes almost charming in its chaos as Wild West gunslingers from one of Matt’s old games exist on the same level as AK-47-toting Russian spies.

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard Photo credit: D3 Publishing

The concept and the voice cast is great but the script for “Eat Lead” isn’t as memorable as it should be. There’s a fine line between parodying bad video game dialogue and, well, just bad video game dialogue. The jokes get old and the enemy banter is ridiculously awful.

The less-than-stellar script wouldn’t be as big of a problem if the gameplay wasn’t some of the worst of the year. The enemy AI is laughable, the cover system is difficult to use, and the graphics are borderline horrendous. “Eat Lead” should be a spoof of the 8-bit era, but does that mean it needs to have the same glitches and haphazardly rendered characters? Watch Matt run down a hall if you don’t believe me. Mario had more natural movement on the SNES.

“Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard” has a basic cover system that it’s nearly impossible to shoot accurately from. I actually found more success going for body shots than head shots and any good shooter fan knows that’s just wrong. The music tracks repeat to the point that you’ll actually want to turn down the volume but then you’ll miss the best thing about the game - Arnett’s voice work.

“Eat Lead” follows the same tired gameplay structure that shooters have employed for decades. Shoot everyone in the room. Move on. And the environments are shockingly lacking in interactivity. You can shoot a fire extinguisher? Ooh. What about the bottles behind the bar and the mirrors and the glass around the rest of the restaurant? No luck there.

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard Photo credit: D3 Publishing

But are all of these glitches and poorly designed elements of “Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard” meant to be a swipe at the era of the 8-bit? If you approach the game as a parody of bad games, it might work for you, but doesn’t that make it a bad game itself?

As for multiplayer, there’s none to speak of, which is simply unacceptable in today’s multiplayer-adoring gaming world.

What’s most frustrating about “Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard” is the failed potential. Gob Bluth and Barney Stinson in a video game parody? Sign me up for that. But “Eat Lead” gets dull, repetitive, and frustrating far too quickly and the game becomes more surprising for the clear corners that were cut in its development than what should have been the ingenuity of the concept. It’s probably not going to be “Hazard time!” for very long.

By BRIAN TALLERICO Content Director HollywoodChicago.com brian@hollywoodchicago.com