The Best, Worst 2009 Super Bowl Movie Commercials

“Fast & Furious”

Someone in the room actually thought this was a commercial for the 2001 version airing on NBC. By their very nature, sequels regularly ask movie goers to pay to see the same movie twice, but this one is ridiculous. It looks like nearly the exact same flick as the first one. If you’re into paying for the same movie again, the “Fast & Furious” spot probably worked for you, but it was the most creatively bankrupt movie commercial on display Sunday night.

“Fast & Furious” was directed by Justin Lin and stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, and Jordana Brewster. It opens on April 3rd, 2009.

“Angels & Demons”

I know it was a massive hit but just thinking about “The Da Vinci Code” makes me sleepy. The book for “Angels & Demons” is actually pretty entertaining, but this spot just looks like more of the same from the team that made the first film so dull.

“Angels & Demons” was directed by Ron Howard and stars Tom Hanks, Ayelet Zurer, Ewan McGregor, Stellan Skarsgard, and David Pasquesi. It opens on May 15th, 2009.

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”

OMG. The early contender for this year’s “Mummy 3” or “Death Race” - loud, stupid, and worthless - has to be “G.I. Joe,” a movie made all the more painful by the fond memories of the toy line that are being pillaged for this junk. The last time they let Stephen Sommers direct a summer movie, we got “Van Helsing”. How did anyone let him make another one?

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra” was directed by Stephen Sommers and stars Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Said Taghmaoui, Christopher Eccleston, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje. It opens on August 7th, 2009.

“Monsters vs. Aliens”

The preview itself is great and the movie looks fun but the 3D glasses gimmick? It’s not only lame but I think they shot themselves in the foot. I’ve seen a good chunk of “Monsters vs. Aliens” in Real 3D and it looks amazing. But the main reason that it will work in theaters is the same reason that it didn’t work at home - you don’t have to use those lame paper glasses any more. The technology has been upgraded in theaters, but audiences who caught the spot at home are likely to think that it’s the same old junk that made “Jaws 3-D” so headache-inducing. The incredibly stupid Sobe commercial that followed didn’t help make this one any more memorable.

“Monsters vs. Aliens” was directed by Rob Letterman & Conrad Vernon and features voice work by Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie, Paul Rudd, Kiefer Sutherland, Reese Witherspoon, Rainn Wilson, Will Arnett, and Stephen Colbert. It opens on March 27th, 2009.

“Star Trek”

I’m clearly in the minority. The rest of the crowd that I was watching the game with thought this was a winner, so I’ll spot it in the middle. To me, “Star Trek” looks like a loud, Bruckheimer-esque special effects extravaganza, which doesn’t work for my impression of this franchise. If you think that “Star Trek” should look like a “Transformers” sequel than this one will work for you. For someone who grew up on Kirk and Picard, the change in tone and style has not yet clicked. I’m hoping that “Star Trek” rocks, but nothing I’ve seen so far has given me hope that it will.

“Star Trek” was directed by J.J. Abrams and stars Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Simon Pegg, Winona Ryder, Karl Urban, John Cho, Zoe Saldana, Bruce Greenwood, Ben Cross, and Anton Yelchin. It opens on May 8th, 2009.

“Race to Witch Mountain”

The artist formerly known as “The Rock” has found a reliable audience with action movies that appeal to the whole family, being a fun part of “Get Smart” and turning “The Game Plan” into a huge hit. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. “Witch Mountain” looks like more of the same. It’s not one of my most anticipated movies of the year but I think the spot worked for its intended audience and may have even intrigued a few people outside of Dwayne Johnson’s family demo.

“Race to Witch Mountain” was directed by Andy Fickman and stars Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, AnnaSophia Robb, Christine Lakin, Cheech Marin, Tom Everett Scott, and Ciaran Hinds. It opens on March 13th, 2009.

By BRIAN TALLERICO Content Director HollywoodChicago.com brian@hollywoodchicago.com