Film Feature: 10 Worst Films of 2016, by HollywoodChicago.com

Printer-friendly versionE-mail page to friendPDF version

Money Monster

Money Monster
Photo credit: Sony Pictures Releasing

There is nothing more excruciating than social commentary that misses its intended target, and the darts of “Money Monster” landed in the next county. George Clooney is Lee Gates, the host of the show “Money Monster,” daily advice for stock market investors on a financial channel. The calm of this everyday con job is shattered by a gun-totin’ madman named Kyle (Jack O’Connell), who takes Lee hostage on the air – because an investment Lee recommended wiped out his savings – while his loyal producer (Julia Roberts) tries to calm the situation. The whole thing was fraudulent, because as Mr. Trump proved the rich are rich because they don’t lose. To make it a Jimmy Stewart-type fantasy where these wealthy men (represented by Dominic West) can be brought down is ludicrious, and unbelievably naive. Yeah, stick it to the man! But it was the “man” who financed this film, and most likely manipulated the profits while laughing all the way to bank. (PM)

Gods of Egypt

Gods of Egypt
Photo credit: Lionsgate

“How the mighty have fallen!” would have been a fitting tagline for the film if it didn’t also apply to the filmmakers. “Gods of Egypt” is that pseudo-Egyptian, “Tranformers”-fantasy fever dream we never knew we wanted…and still don’t. This film blends all the fun of being bombarded by barrage after barrage of passable CGI with a story that makes most children’s books seem complex in comparison. Add on top of that director Alex Proyas’ vision to reappropriate a different culture’s beliefs and rituals, without actually giving an accurate representation of the people who believe in it. Since it is a work of fantasy, the delusion was powerful enough to convince Proyas that whitewashing every single major character would be acceptable. Obviously it wasn’t, especially taking into consideration that the wooden performances did nothing for the buoyancy of this film – if anything, it helped to drown an already sinking ship. These “Gods” aren’t the ones you pray to, but the ones you pray you never have to encounter the likes of ever again. (JE)

How to Be Single

How to Be Single
Photo credit: Warner Bros.

There’s no reason a women behaving badly, while looking for love, can’t work in a comedy – but “How To Be Single” is not it. Rebel Wilson can be funny, and so can Alison Brie and Leslie Mann. Dakota Johnson’s laughs are of the purely unintentional kind, like in the “50 Shades Of Grey” films, so she’s not exactly the yuk-it-up type. The cast has precious little to work with, so I can’t blame them. There are precious few laughs to be had in this slovenly production, which lurches from one setup to the next in a desperate search for a punchline. And any movie that wastes Leslie Mann as a baby-hating gynecologist is too wobegon to save. (SW)

Masterminds

Masterminds
Photo credit: Relativity Media

This the type of film where I wanted to beat it against the side of the table and scream, “where’s the funny!?!?” This so-called comedy continues the slow slide downward of one Zach Galifiankis – whose last three films with him in the lead role have tanked. Here he portrays a based-on-a-true-story schlub who pulls off an insider armored car heist for a lady (Kristen Wiig in a Wonder Bra). I think director Jared Hess, who gave the world “Napoleon Dynamite,” wanted the same vibe for this tired concept, but the result was just more tired and desperately unfunny. The all-star cast, which included Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis and Kate McKinnon, are sweating bullets to try and milk something out of this misguided misfire. This is yet another film where the credit outtakes are funnier than the story, but by the time you get there you won’t care. (PM)

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Photo credit: Warner Bros.

The prize for the single most maddening picture of the year goes to this overlong exercise in bad decisions. This is the movie I remember most for getting my blood boiling before the opening credits were even over. In director Zack Snyder’s hands, the oft told story of Bruce Wayne and his murdered parents become an absurd exercise in self parody, except Snyder’s not in on the joke, as a flock of bats literally lifts the young master Wayne aloft and Batman is born. Superman’s a flying prick in this film, Batman is a brutal vigilante, and there’s not a hero to be found. The only bright spot is Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor – a twitchy, giggly and evil techie. And oh that ending…Martha, Martha, Martha! This movie makes the extremely flawed “Man Of Steel” look like the original Superman film by comparison. (SW)

CLICK HERE for the 10 Best Films of 2016 by Patrick McDonald of HollywoodChicago.com.

By PATRICK McDONALD Editorial Coordinator, Writer HollywoodChicago.com pat@hollywoodchicago.com