CHICAGO - Look past the cheesy carbs and b-boy poses, this shiny mo-cap reboot of cartoon juggernaut “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” offers slick entertainment that makes for a welcome surprise for middle school fare. Proving that executive producer Michael Bay has both grown up but it still frightfully in tune with what jazzes teens, this surprise box office hit is indeed a nice slice of a blockbuster spectacle, whether or not a viewer cares about the turtles or not.
Film Review: Numbingly Stupid ‘Piranha 3DD’ is BaDD
CHICAGO – “Piranha 3D” was a flawed film to be certain but it looks like a horror/comedy masterpiece compared to the dull mess that is the virtually straight-to-DVD follow-up, “Piranha 3DD,” opening on a whopping 75 screens today and also available On Demand. The effects are significantly worse, the tone is less consistent, and the sense of gorey fun that made the first movie a silly blood-soaked ride has been replaced by a movie that barely registers at all. Not scary, not funny, not clever, “Piranha 3DD” is just a waste of time.
People seem to think that movies with extreme gore and nudity are easy to pull off. Watch Alexandre Aja’s 2010 gore-stravaganza and then follow it up with John Gulager’s brain-dead virtual remake in “Piranha 3DD” and spot the differences. As I wrote about Aja’s film. “It’s far-from-perfect and could have been with a few tweaks but “Piranha 3D” is off-the-rails crazy in all the ways that someone buying a ticket to a three-dimensional gore-o-rama wants what’s presented to them to be off-the-rails crazy.”
|Read Brian Tallerico’s full review of “Piranha 3DD” in our reviews section.|
The producers of “Piranha 3DD” seem to think that more of the same is all audiences want out of a sequel and that an increase in body parts, bad jokes, and faded star cameos will suffice for a completely lack of originality. I’m a gorehound when it’s presented well. I appreciate a film that doesn’t pull any punches in terms of taste but you can’t just shoot a scene where a guy cuts off his own dick after getting a piranha attached to it during sex or another where a decapitated head motorboats a blood-soaked chick and think your job is done. Believe it or not, even in goofy junk like this, you need to have a bit of filmmaking skill to keep it interesting, engaging, and entertaining. “Piranha 3DD” is none of the above.
Photo credit: Dimension Films