Film Review: ‘Men in Black III’ Deserves to Be Neuralyzed From Memory

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CHICAGO – “Men in Black III” is such a soulless venture, a film made by committee that doesn’t display the touch of anyone with any remaining actual interest in the characters. In the pipeline for years, the film has been fine-tuned to the point that all of its personality was buffed out in the process. It’s well made (as a budget north of $200 million will do that for you) but to what end? There’s so little artistic merit to the piece that it doesn’t even qualify as popcorn entertainment. Oscarman rating: 2.0/5.0
Rating: 2.0/5.0

The problem is that “Men in Black III” is simply insufficient in whichever genre you want to place it. There are not enough laughs to call it a successful comedy. The science fiction is thinner than a ten-year-old could devise. And the action is as by-the-numbers as any blockbuster you’ll see this season. If not for a clever, fun performance from Josh Brolin this would be a complete waste of time.

StarRead Brian Tallerico’s full review of “Men in Black III” in our reviews section.

As if no time has passed since “Men in Black II” (except for the bizarre disappearance of the entire supporting cast of the last film with nary a mention other than the off-screen death of Rip Torn’s Zed), Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) are bickering. K is still strong and silent. J is still boisterous and trying to get his stolid partner to break. Only in Hollywood do people not change in the slightest over 12 years between movies but that could be forgiven if the two iconic characters were given

Meanwhile, a notorious alien murderer named Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement) has escaped from a maximum security prison in space (with “Lockout” and this, we may have our most unusual recurring plot point of the year). It turns out that Agent K put Boris away back in 1969 and essentially ruined his entire species by destroying his plan to take over Earth. While locked up, Boris just happened to meet a fellow prisoner who figured out time travel and so the one-armed madman decides to jump back to the day that the universe changed and kill Agent K. Consequently, Agent J wakes up in a world where Agent K doesn’t exist (but can remember him for reasons that will just barely be explained later) and has to jump back himself to stop the madman with the help of a young K (Josh Brolin), a truly gifted alien (Michael Stuhlbarg), and the lovely Agent O (Alice Eve in 1969 and Emma Thompson in present day).

StarContinue reading for Brian Tallerico’s full “Men in Black III” review.

“Men in Black III” stars Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Jemaine Clement, Josh Brolin, Emma Thompson, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Alice Eve. It was directed by Barry Sonnenfeld and opens on May 25, 2012.

Men in Black III
Men in Black III
Photo credit: Sony Pictures

Taconus of Taconia's picture

You are out of your mind

Men in Black III was a worthy successor, and a positive turnaround from MIB II. Need I remind you of the blatent fanservice of MIB II? The Crappy Story? No? Well, if you remember the horror of the second, let rein you of the first. MIB wasn’t any better than MIB III. In fact, I’d say the third is the best. You’ve got Will Smith starting the movie by being a jackass to the people “Turn off your cell phones on planes” or “Don’t lie to your kid” as his memory buffs, then insulting some foreign food. You got the random throw away character that gets a scene, which was insert jack jeebs here…. oh we couldn’t get that actor, let’s get some guy who looks like some nerd who just wants to play Guitar hero all day. And let’s not forget the villian. The first one it was a guy named edgar, who was really a giant cockroach. And this time it was Damn. Either way is better than a plant lady who uses her tenticles to …. um…. restrain everyone. Oh, and if you wanna insult the writers, first go out and join the writers guild, and then go write a scifi novel. I’m not saying the movie took more than a year to write, I’m saying that you have no idea what it takes to write a good story. Get the stick out of your rectum, and give the movie an honest review.

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