Blu-ray Review: Syfy’s Derivative, Hollow ‘Neverland’ Falls Disappointingly Flat

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CHICAGO – Aficionados of J.M. Barrie movie adaptations will immediately recognize a bit of trivia-worthy casting in Nick Willing’s “Peter Pan” prequel, “Neverland.” Bob Hoskins is cast as Smee, a role he previously inhabited in Steven Spielberg’s “Hook.” I’m not sure why, considering “Hook” isn’t all that fondly remembered, though after sitting through the first half of this tedious slog, I was praying for a cameo by Rufio.

“Neverland” is merely the latest in a series of “too-hip-for-charm” franchise reboots that seem perversely bent on draining beloved fantasies of their childlike wonder. I don’t have a clue what sort of audience member would find this two-part, three-hour miniseries the least bit satisfying. As an adult drama, it’s a childish bore. As children’s fare, it’s dank and dreary. No wonder Peter and his posse of lost boys are so desperate to find a way home.

HollywoodChicago.com Blu-ray Rating: 1.5/5.0
Blu-ray Rating: 1.5/5.0

Why did the filmmakers feel compelled to stretch this bloated TV movie to an interminable 169 minutes? It’s clear from the opening act how all the plot threads will lead to their inevitable destination. Pan and Hook’s backstory is so blatantly derivative that it borders on plagiarism. James Hook (Rhys Ifans) is a master fencer in turn-of-the-century London who mentors a group of young pickpockets headed by the Artful Dodger—er, Peter Pan (Charlie Rowe). When Fagin—er, Hook sets his sights on robbing an antique store, the cocky Pan decides to complete the task himself in an effort to prove that he’s as much of an adult as his master. A glowing orb is discovered in the shop that acts as a portal to Neverland, thus transporting Hook, Pan and the boys to a world comprised entirely of digital matte paintings. It’s typical of this film’s banal imagination that the characters use a standard beaming device to jump between dimensions, which is a lot less romantic than following the second star to the right and flying straight on till morning. Soon after their arrival, Hook falls under the allegedly seductive powers of the sneering Captain Bonny (Anna Friel), while the ostracized boys befriend a tribe of “injuns” that includes Tiger Lily (Q’orianka Kilcher). It’s especially depressing to see Kilcher surrounded by such mundane production values, since her character looks practically identical to the one she played in Terrence Malick’s underrated marvel, “The New World.”

Neverland was released on Blu-ray and DVD on March 13, 2012.
Neverland was released on Blu-ray and DVD on March 13, 2012.
Photo credit: Vivendi Entertainment

This instantly forgettable misfire is a textbook example of how digital over-saturation can kill off any sense of tangible magic. Every scene that takes place in Neverland has the drafty, echo-laden hollowness of a green screened soundstage. No matter how often the actors gawk at their computerized surroundings, the backdrops appear wholly lifeless. It’s gotten to a point where most green screen effects now look as shoddy and unconvincing as the hand-painted backdrops in early silents. Of course, that wouldn’t matter as much if the action occurring in front of them were compelling in the slightest. Ifans comes close to bringing his conflicted Hook a touch of poignance, but the script lets him down every step of the way. There are plenty of good reasons why Pan would turn his back on his corrupted mentor, and yet their falling out ultimately hinges on the most clichéd plot twist imaginable, transforming the iconic captain into an ungodly hybrid of Darth Vader and Severus Snape. Yet the least convincing scene is saved for the very end, as Pan inexplicably decides to stay in Neverland, despite the fact that he had just spent the entire movie trying to escape. “Think of all the fun we’d be missing!” he exclaims, to which a bewildered lost boy asks, “What fun?” Someone give that boy a gold star.

“Neverland” is presented in 1080p High Definition (with its original widescreen aspect ratio) and includes 15 minutes of cast soundbites that provide would-be interviewers with a lesson in how uninspired questions often elicit glib answers. When asked about his childhood memories of “Peter Pan,” Ifans quips, “I’m a Welshman. We have better stories to tell.” In a 22-minute behind-the-scenes featurette, viewers can get a glimpse of the green screen stage north of Dublin where much of the footage was shot. Willing says it was his goal from the beginning to make every frame appear cinematic, and his efforts are detailed in the disc’s gallery of storyboards and artwork. Four green screen-to-final cut comparisons further reveal the emptiness of the actors’ working environment, while a trailer strains to make the footage look at least somewhat exciting. In his feature-length commentary track, the director discusses various production hurdles that prove to be relatively diverting. The crew had very little time to shoot footage onboard Bonny’s ship, an expensive prop previously used in the Roman Polanski bomb, “Pirates” (a cursed boat, to be sure). The flaws in Willing’s approach are apparent right from the opening sequence, where he defends Ronan Hardiman’s dull music by arguing that “too grand a score would’ve sounded corny.” Maybe, but sometimes that’s a risk filmmakers have to take in order to achieve true movie magic. “Neverland” is so worried about being “corny” that it never gets off the ground.

‘Neverland’ is released by Vivendi Entertainment and stars Charlie Rowe, Rhys Ifans, Anna Friel, Q’orianka Kilcher, Bob Hoskins and Charles Dance. It was written and directed by Nick Willing. It was released on March 13, 2012. It is not rated.

HollywoodChicago.com staff writer Matt Fagerholm

By MATT FAGERHOLM
Staff Writer
HollywoodChicago.com
matt@hollywoodchicago.com

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