Jim reviews film "THE ROOM" -- A place to get OUT of since it's something NOT 'Happening'

“THE ROOM” — A place to get OUT of since it’s something NOT ‘Happening’ =

Rating: 2 of 10 stars.

You know how some movies are so BAD, they’re ‘GOOD’ in the sense they’re funny? This IS NOT ONE of them!… In 1975, ‘ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW’ was released & became a ‘CULT’ Happening, because of the catchy tunes, kitschy over-the-top characters (like Tim Curry, Meatloaf, & Susan Sarandon) plus purposely-funny / ridiculous premises. People would attend the screenings & talk ALONG with the eventually-well-known dialogue, throw OBJECTS in the air related to the on-screen happenings, etc. It could be lots of FUN to be a ‘part’ of…

‘THE ROOM’ was a film written, directed, produced & acted-in by Tommy Wiseau in 2003. Some people are treating it like ‘Rocky Horror’, as if it’s a ‘cult’ classic. It’s NOT WORTH any such designation— although its WORK is Rocky & its overall final-effect is HORRIBLE… To those claiming it’s a ‘BLACK comedy’, I say you’re both color-challenged and really reckless in your far-afield version of what’s true ‘humor’!… If you like DREADFUL writing, BAD acting, pathetic premises & plotting, STUPID rather than clever actions and ideas, then this IS the movie for you!…

… Before the midnite screening (at Chicago’s venerable ‘MUSIC BOX’ theater), the audience was loud, boisterous & seemingly at-least-partially DRUNK (at least, I HOPE that was their ‘excuse’!). People kept throwing around nerf-like FOOTBALLS— sort of ‘honoring’ the way that’s done time & again in the film (usually in ridiculously small locations & mainly because no more ‘clever’ or cheap ‘plot’ device could be thought up)…

… A number of times in the film, cake is eaten— &, POSSIBLY because of that (or for NO real sensible reason), the audience kept throwing plastic SPOONS at the screen. (There are more ‘meaningful’, less ‘friendly’ objects that I was sorely tempted to throw at it!)… That was followed by a bunch of people scurrying around COLLECTING the spoons, possibly in part to throw them AGAIN later on… The torture inherent in it all was palpable…

… Wiseau (whose name was loudly cheered everytime it came up on the screen) plays an incredibly DENSE ‘hero’ named Tommy who has a girlfriend Lisa (JULIETTE DANIELLE) who is “three-timing” him including with his best friend Mark (GREG SESTERO) who alternates between acting sweet and vicious. There’s Tommy’s “Robin’ like young companion Denny (PHILIP HALDIMAN), Lisa’s Mom (seemingly played by CAROLYN MINNOTT, the only decent actor in the group), & various badly-constructed & generally weakly-performed supporting ‘characters’.

… The audience hooted & hollered like hormone-addled teenagers at the periodic nude ‘SEX’ scenes (especially regarding ‘enthusiastic’ Tommy), frequently made plot-related COMMENTS loudly to the screen (often BEFORE the clearly well-known-to-them dialogue was spoken), pointed out PLOT inanities (including guys wearing tuxedos while weakly throwing around the ever-present football), etc. It might’ve been ‘enjoyable’ to ‘participate’ in, if the whole ‘scene’ hadn’t come across as so sort of ‘DESPERATE’ rather than really amusing…

… I’d tell you more about the plot, except there’s not much ‘POINT’ in it. Suffice it to say that Tommy (after numerous attacks of OBLIVIOUSNESS) finally learns that slut-infused Lisa is cheating on him, & he responds ‘violently’ to that, which (of course) ‘shocks’ all his (suddenly ‘altered’) friends…

… This film isn’t funny, NEVER nears the Realm of ‘Clever’, & (outside of some nice photography of sights in San Francisco) is mainly Many Minutes of WORTHLESS. To those who would call attending this a ‘Happening’, I’d say it comes across more as something NOT ‘Happening’…

… I guess, if you have absolutely nothing BETTER to do with your life (which is a sad thought!), you might consider attending this as an attempt at a QUASI-sexual ‘SHARED’ experience— tho you’d likely get a BETTER allotment of that by playing a game of ‘STRIP’ HORSESHOES…