CHICAGO – In an unrevealed abandoned warehouse in the seedy underbelly of Chicago’s north side that is the Uptown neighborhood, a group of super villains met last Saturday night to plot and scheme their next attack against law-abiding society.

Rating: 3.0/5.0

Well, maybe not quite, but the overlooked adversaries of America’s superheroes did crack wise, bicker and whine in New Millennium Theatre’s production of “Villains” at Chicago’s National Pastime Theater. The result? Imagine if “F Troop” tried to pull off a diamond heist.

A scene from New Millennium Theatre’s “Villains”. Photo credit: New Millennium Theatre

This quintessential brotherhood of evil morons includes prototypes from all your typical, testosterone-packed, four-color comic books. First we have the heavy “Slab” with superhuman strength and a love for Poppycock.

Unfortunately, his powers are ineffective whenever he’s around a substance known as “solarbrinite”. It seems (according to Slab) that stuff is everywhere.

Then there is “Heat Conduction Man”. He’s an oven mitt-wearing, pyromaniac lunatic who wields the command of combustion but becomes trapped in fear whenever he tries to call upon his powers.

Next is “The Fate”. He’s a mysterious villain whose costume looks like a mix between a druid and Flavor Flav. The Fate has the ability to see into the future (albeit only three seconds forward and only sometimes successfully).

The team’s token female villain is “Ladywoman”. As far as the other members are concerned, her only power is the mammary glands hanging from her chest. In pure comic-book fashion and despite her lofty feminist ideals, her role is minimalized by her male counterparts.

But what would a legion of dorks be without its fearless leader? Jeff is a mastermind with issues in discovering his own villain persona.

A scene from New Millennium Theatre’s “Villains”. Photo credit: New Millennium Theatre

Despite his desire to be the greatest villain the world has ever known, he seems to find himself copycatting the styles of better-known villains.

For example, he creates “The Baffler”. Yes, that’s a question mark-covered guise leaving puzzles for clues completely ignorant of the famous Batman villain “The Riddler”.

“Villains” follows these wannabe criminals as they balance their time trying to steal a blue Sheik diamond from the Museum of Geological Discoveries with their boring day jobs, nagging mothers and lonely, alter-ego existence.

Since the explosion of comic-book characters in other media has become comedic material that has been well tread in films such as “Mystery Men,” “The Specials” and “Superhero Movie,” the most original concept behind this show is telling the story from the point of view of the bad guys.

It seems to have paid off as “Villains” is funnier than at least two of the three aforementioned films (if not all three). What sets the script apart is – rather than relying on cheap, inside fanboy jokes – it humanizes what are typically larger-than-life baddies and plays on their own quirks and shortcomings.

A scene from New Millennium Theatre’s “Villains”. Photo credit: New Millennium Theatre

It would have been more exhilarating, though, to hear dialogue that sounded like it was ripped directly from the pages of Marvel Comics, DC Comics or the classic superhero films rather than everyday, expletive-heavy conversation.

Also, the play seems too insistent on pushing wacky situations these characters could find themselves. At the top of the show, the actors seem to speak too quickly and you get lost trying to keep up with the backstory of each member of the newly intruded ensemble.

The play would have benefited from less emphasis on the specifics of five protagonists and more on the comedy they inheritably bring with them when taken at face value. The laugh-out-loud moments come from the under-the-breath asides these characters say while trying to thwart the law and not from watching an overly energetic Richard Simmons cum Tony Robbins team-building guru.

Time never moves slower than trying to watch people in costumes sit on their capes and just chew the fat. Nevertheless, the use of video and the perfectly chosen “Electric Light Orchestra” soundtrack helps keep the pacing in this late-night performance.

New Millennium Theatre’s latest product has made comic books’ stock bad guys into loveable and accessible numskulls. Bright clothing, over-the-top antics and simple parody set against a minimalist backdrop make “Villains” the heroes of this production.

“Villains” runs through June 21, 2008 at the National Pastime Theater at 4139 N. Broadway in Chicago on Friday and Saturday nights at 10 p.m. Tickets cost $15.
With this special link, tickets are half price!

By DUSTIN LEVELL Senior Staff Writer HollywoodChicago.com dustin@hollywoodchicago.com